Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband. — H. L. Mencken Dollars Copy Share Image
Skin diseases are something doctors like, the patient neither dies nor gets well. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
He slept more than any other president, whether by day or by night. Nero fiddled, but Coolidge only snored. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The state remains, as it was in the beginning, the common enemy of all well-disposed, industrious and decent men. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The worst of marriage is that it makes a woman believe that all men are just as easy to fool. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies. — H. L. Mencken Communism Copy Share Image
The common man knows exactly what he wants...and deserves to get it good and hard. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The only liberty an inferior man really cherishes is the liberty to quit work, stretch out in the sun, and scratch himself. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Whenever I write anything that sets up controversy its meaning is distorted almost instantly. Even the editorial writers of newspapers seem to… — H. L. Mencken Controversy Copy Share Image
“College football would be much more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if the trustees… — H. L. Mencken College football Copy Share Image
One yearns unspeakably for a composer who gives out his pair of honest themes, and then develops them unashamed, and then hangs… — H. L. Mencken Composer Copy Share Image
Law and its instrument, government, are necessary to the peace and safety of all of us, but all of us, unless we… — H. L. Mencken Government Copy Share Image
All government is, in its essence, organized exploitation, and in virtually all of its existing forms it is the implacable enemy of… — H. L. Mencken Enemy Copy Share Image
The Catholic clergy seldom bother to make their arguments plausible; it is plain that they have little respect for human intelligence, and… — H. L. Mencken Argument Copy Share Image
The physical business of writing is unpleasant to me, but the psychic satisfaction of discharging bad ideas in worse English makes me… — H. L. Mencken Bad idea Copy Share Image
It is, indeed, one of the capital tragedies of youth-and youth is the time of real tragedy-that the young are thrown mainly… — H. L. Mencken Adults Copy Share Image
Liberty is of small value to the lower third of humanity. They greatly prefer security, which means protection by some class above… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor. — H. L. Mencken Argument Copy Share Image
At eight or nine, I suppose intelligence is no more than a small spot of light on the floor of a large… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking. — H. L. Mencken Conscience Copy Share Image
A man who is an agnostic by inheritance, so that he doesn't remember any time that he wasn't, has almost no hatred… — H. L. Mencken Agnostic Copy Share Image
There comes a time in every man's life when he's consumed by the desire to spit on his palms, hoist the black… — H. L. Mencken Atheism Copy Share Image
If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
In any combat between a rogue and a fool the sympathy of mankind is always with the rogue. — H. L. Mencken Combat Copy Share Image
There is no record in the history of a nation that ever gained anything valuable by being unable to defend itself. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
No form of liberty is worth a darn [sic] which doesn't give us the right to do wrong now and then. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on. — H. L. Mencken Boast Copy Share Image
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. — H. L. Mencken Cynic Copy Share Image
Truth would quickly cease to be stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it. — H. L. Mencken Fiction Copy Share Image
My guess is that well over eighty per cent. of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought.. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The way to deal with superstition is not to be polite to it, but to tackle it with all arms, and so… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Who will argue that 98.6 Farenheit is the right temperature for man? As for me, I decline to do it. It may… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
If experience teaches us anything at all, it teaches us this: that a good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
“When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that an old source is abandoned. It merely means… — H. L. Mencken Politics Copy Share Image
All successful newpapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Pedagogues: More than any other class of blind leaders of the blind they are responsible for the degrading standardization which now afflicts… — H. L. Mencken American people Copy Share Image
The most popular man under a democracy is not the most democratic man, but the most despotic man. The common folk delight… — H. L. Mencken Boss Copy Share Image
The average woman must inevitably view her actual husband with a certain disdain; he is anything but her ideal. In consequence, she… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
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