“You’re stuck with yourself for the rest of your life, and now you know, beyond a doubt, that you’re an asshole.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“Then I wondered, briefly, where one might obtain a prosthetic Adam’s apple, and what its primary use would be.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“I think it’s better for customer relations if we all commit to wearing matching socks,” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“I’d mistakenly shown myself to be the kind of guy (test subject) who stood out in her garden wondering about her underwear.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“Every once in a while you come across a novel that reminds you why you think you enjoy reading in the first… — Graham Parke Books Copy Share Image
“I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money.” — Graham Parke Humor Copy Share Image
“what tipped me off was the pink nighty I was wearing and the abundance of flowers decorating my room.” — Graham Parke Flower Copy Share Image
“She’s funny and intelligent, well-mannered and clean, and her smile is exceedingly cute. Also, she has big tits.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“he’s still dead, but he died this morning rather than last night.” She held up her hand with a small amount of… — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“Mathematicians finally developed a financial model to accurately compare apples and oranges. Any two kinds of fruit can be compared, although guavas… — Graham Parke Humor Copy Share Image
“Just before I look under my bed, I always get a little cold feeling, as if part of me expects to find… — Graham Parke Healthy relationship Copy Share Image
“He politely introduced himself as Warren Baxter and told me he was about to turn in, he just had one more batch… — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“What was wrong with people these days? Couldn’t a guy have a few beers to drown a personal problem without getting caught… — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“Gravity has a slightly stronger hold on me than it does on other people. I’m sure of it. It pulls on me… — Graham Parke Gravity Copy Share Image
“Toyed with the idea of letting it go to voicemail, then remembered the sick messages the phone-sex salesman had been leaving me,” — Graham Parke Voicemail Copy Share Image
“Do you ever feel that everything would be okay, if only you had an Irish accent?” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“It felt a bit like French kissing an old lady; all the right moves, but in totally the wrong places.” — Graham Parke Kissing Copy Share Image
“Didn’t fall asleep. Spent the better part of the night listening to Warren drill holes in my floor.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“Monday night. Couldn’t sleep. Sounded like my downstairs neighbor was drilling thousands of tiny holes in his ceiling.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“I make sure to always have some spinach between my teeth so people are disinclined to bother me. Survival strategies for the… — Graham Parke Food Copy Share Image
“Wondered about the experimental drugs interacting with airborne chemicals and leaving me unexpectedly dead.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“Joseph Miller had allowed the Universe to reduce him to being someone’s Tuesday afternoon monkey-poop scooper.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“At precisely 4:22 a.m. I awoke to the sound of hamsters being stir-fried in a large enameled wok.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“Reputable companies don’t get their test subjects through ads in gaming magazines,” — Graham Parke Gaming Copy Share Image
“So, this guy entered my store, browsed my crap in his suit, sandals, and stickered sombrero, and completely broke my concentration.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“I knew I should’ve started stalking her first! Damn my not-so-devious brain. When would I learn that women don’t go for nice… — Graham Parke Nice guys Copy Share Image
“it sounds like my neighbor is stir-frying hamsters in a large enameled wok.” — Graham Parke Copy Share Image
“I wore an elaborate disguise that made me look like a caterer from a rivaling company.” — Graham Parke Business Copy Share Image
“what was it they called you? It’s on the tip of my tongue. It was something to do with cats and large… — Graham Parke Body fat Copy Share Image
