Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him. — David Wong Copy Share Image
“Cops do this every day, rifling closets and digging through your dildo drawer.” — David Wong Cops Copy Share Image
“I was hammered by either a flying body tackle or an unnecessarily aggressive hug.” — David Wong Copy Share Image
“Of all the dogs I’ve known in my life, I’ve never seen a better driver.” — David Wong Animal Copy Share Image
Are the most dangerous creatures the ones that use doors or the ones that don't? — David Wong Animals Copy Share Image
“I’m not crazy,” I said, crazily, to my court-appointed therapist.” — David Wong Crazily Copy Share Image
“Did you doze off there?” He shook my hand. “Uh, no. I was just tryin’ to rub somethin’ off the back of… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?” — David Wong Humor Copy Share Image
“We moved in silence for a moment and I said, “How did we screw this all up so badly, John?” He shook… — David Wong Silence Copy Share Image
“So why do we call her crazy for piling her trailer full of more cats than she could take care of but… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“Of course, it is likely enough, my friends, that we are going to our doom: the last march of the Ents. But… — David Wong Sooner or later Copy Share Image
“They passed a law that said I couldn’t put my hands in my pockets. Do you know why? Because they would become… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“light-headed, my body trembling from shoes to shoulders in random spells, like I swallowed a vibrator. It’s always like this when I’m… — David Wong Copy Share Image
They came looking for dark and terrible revelations and instead found out something even more dark and terrible: that their lives were… — David Wong Copy Share Image
The Chinese concept of rights arose, then, in a context of power. Western nations had become powerful enough, and imposed their will… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“This is my emergency kit. It contained a roll of duct tape, a spare pair of pants, an envelope with two hundred… — David Wong Copy Share Image
Accommodation is a willingness to maintain constructive relationship with others with whom one is in serious and even intractable disagreement. Social cooperation… — David Wong Accommodation Copy Share Image
“I’m a productive citizen. Well, not productive, I mean if you add up what I bring to society and what I take… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“The English language needs a word for that feeling you get when you badly need help, but there is no one who… — David Wong English language Copy Share Image
The English language needs a word for that feeling you get when you badly need help, but there is no one you… — David Wong Copy Share Image
Guys like him, the ones who grip the Bible so tight they leave fingernail grooves, they're the ones who are the most… — David Wong Bible Copy Share Image
“Sorry, Dave. My grandpa used to tell me, toward the end when he was going crazy, that talking through a dog ain't… — David Wong Dog Copy Share Image
“Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of… — David Wong Apathy Copy Share Image
The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost down to… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“And then the Jamaican guy pulls out the sauce. "It be opening doors to other worlds, mon," he days. We made him… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“The zombie looks like a man, walks like a man, eats and otherwise functions fully, yet is devoid of the spark. It… — David Wong Horror Copy Share Image
We depend for so much on those we love that of course we want them to have desirable personal qualities and to… — David Wong Copy Share Image
We know that global capitalism, and the commercially driven culture that comes with it, can be a powerful solvent, but many of… — David Wong Copy Share Image
Zhuangzi is especially insightful about the human pretension to know. The Zhuangzi tells a story about a frog who lives in caved-in… — David Wong Insightful Copy Share Image
“Imagine fifty thousand men trapped on a desert island, deprived of food and water and sex but somehow kept alive for fifty… — David Wong Cannibalism Copy Share Image
You see, time is an ocean, not a garden hose. Space is a puff of smoke, a wisp of cloud. — David Wong Copy Share Image
“Snap. Ka-chunk. That’s how I spell the sound of a doorknob turning.” — David Wong Chunk Copy Share Image
“Damn it! I knew she was a monster! John! Amy! Listen! Guard your buttholes.” — David Wong Comic Copy Share Image
“There was no head. What the— “LOOK! SHIT!” Franky’s head was making a run for” — David Wong Copy Share Image
