Amy Sedaris

I have a very muscular face.

— Amy Sedaris

“An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.”

— Amy Sedaris

I feel so free and open to ideas, and I get inspired by everything.

— Amy Sedaris

My characters always like themselves.

— Amy Sedaris

I've never done heroin or slept with people for money or anything.

— Amy Sedaris

People that know me know that I cook. I cook every night.

— Amy Sedaris

I love depressing movies and depressing books.

— Amy Sedaris

If I'm creating something for myself, then I want to have fun.

— Amy Sedaris

But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.

— Amy Sedaris

My little brother Paul. He owns his own floor sanding business called Silly P Hardwood Floors and hes really good.

— Amy Sedaris

I like working with the public, I like working with food, and I like making cash.

— Amy Sedaris

It was more of their quirky show. It was more like a cult show. The ratings weren't really that high.

— Amy Sedaris

I listen. I like to give advice. Mostly, Ill just try to listen to my friends, and theyll say the same thing…

— Amy Sedaris

I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.

— Amy Sedaris

I like crafts that are made out of necessity because they're a little naive - you made it because you needed it.

— Amy Sedaris

Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.

— Amy Sedaris

Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending…

— Amy Sedaris

When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies.…

— Amy Sedaris

I don't know my telephone number or anything like that, but when I do have to make a call, I just pull…

— Amy Sedaris

I wouldn't call myself a shut-in. I have the ability to leave my home; I just choose not to. But because I'm…

— Amy Sedaris

Whenever I do your show, sometimes I get a little check in the mail and then I take that check and buy…

— Amy Sedaris

I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff raff is around. Then…

— Amy Sedaris

Usually I'm the one asking somebody to do something because I don't know how to finish it. I'm like, 'Do this for…

— Amy Sedaris

That's why I love improvisational theater so much - you do it [scene] once and then it's done. You don't get bogged…

— Amy Sedaris

I've never played anyone who didn't like themselves. I don't care if they're unattractive, but it's important that they think of themselves…

— Amy Sedaris

I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior…

— Amy Sedaris

Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes…

— Amy Sedaris

“• A good trick is to fill your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosey guest better than an avalanche of…

— Amy Sedaris

I just hate the whole idea of labeling anything as a comedy. If you tell me something's funny, I'll want to rebel…

— Amy Sedaris

We're all used to seeing pretty people. I want to see real people.

— Amy Sedaris

I like to be the one in charge of everything.

— Amy Sedaris

I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.

— Amy Sedaris

Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives.

— Amy Sedaris

I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married.

— Amy Sedaris

A lot of crafters, they're shut-ins.

— Amy Sedaris

I always find something to keep me busy.

— Amy Sedaris

I stayed in New York City for the first time, I'd always wanted to do that.

— Amy Sedaris

Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic…

— Amy Sedaris

All my muscles are in my face. I have a very muscular face. I'm good with faces. I always have been.

— Amy Sedaris

Crafting is putting ideas into action and then holding them together with an inexpensive adhesive.

— Amy Sedaris