You might be a redneck if Quotes · Page 3

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

— Jeff Foxworthy