You might be a redneck if Quotes · Page 2

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy…

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

— Jeff Foxworthy