MARRIAGE, An event which is called tying the knot -- unfortunately, the knot can be a noose; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. — Ross Macdonald Copy Share Image
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you wanted nothing done at all, Balfour was the man for the job. — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
Good girls wax their floors Bad girls wax their bikini line Naughty girls wax your nutsack — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
So your name is Will, But you don't call your crotch The Willderness, then what the fuck? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The creed of the Inland Revenue is simple: "If we can bring one little smile to one little face today, then somebody's… — David Frost Copy Share Image
You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I don't believe any experiment until it is confirmed by theory. I find this is a witty inversion of "conventional" wisdom. — Arthur Eddington Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The ceremony which provides a man with something that, sooner or later, he will find he can't blame on the government; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People tell me that Senator Edwards got picked for his good looks, his sex appeal, and his great hair. I say to… — Dick Cheney Copy Share Image
I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the… — Fionnula Flanagan Copy Share Image
I miss you when I'm not with you. When I'm not with you all I do is think about you. When I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“her hips were having an argument with the upper half of her body as to who was to get more eye contact” — J.S. Mason Copy Share Image
The only reason I'd ask what happen today, is to steal some ideas to tweet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If Girls Walk In A Group Its A Group If Boys Walk In A Group Its A GANG.. ! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Hands can cook, hands can create, hands can kill. There is no better tool than our hands.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
When I think of Cool Britannia I think of old people dying of hypothermia. — Tony Benn Copy Share Image
I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down! — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
Females : they hate it when you ask their age, but they'll kill you if you forget their birthday. — Jason Fundora Copy Share Image
Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right! — Mae West Copy Share Image
LOVER(S), People who never get tired of each other because they are always talking about themselves; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nowadays three witty turns of phrase and a lie make a writer. — Georg C. Lichtenberg Copy Share Image
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You are happy... when you see a flower and are thankful for the blessing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Too MANY people ask for the truth, but too FEW can actually handle it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, Something they say is blind -- it's marriage which is the real eye opener; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when I have a tweet in my head and my friends doesn't retweet it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
