Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the loser keeps his smile, the winner will loose the thrill of victory. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are thoughtful... when you see me just as I am and treat me just as you are. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Mostly all famous inventions start off as an accidents. For instance, my invention of running over cats. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.) — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“Neil Mars?! I could blame him for having killer looks but he could not be faulted for this. He couldn’t have chosen… — Rucy Ban Copy Share Image
“…Charles laughingly observed,'Gospel and the blues are really, if you break it down, almost the same thing. It's just a question of… — Craig Werner Copy Share Image
Quoting E. B. White is the easiest way I know of to fool people into thinking that I am perceptive, witty, and… — Peter Behrens Copy Share Image
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Not obedience or feelings or respect, there is only one thing which people take seriously at all time and its "money".” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made… — Mae West Copy Share Image
WIFE, WISE, one who makes her husband feel as if he is head of the house when, in reality, he is only… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The best material model of a cat is another, or preferably the same, cat. — Norbert Wiener Copy Share Image
If you want to be witty, work on your character and say what you think on every occasion. — Stendhal Copy Share Image
John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Creativity without discipline will struggle, creativity with discipline will succeed.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
If someone stole your tweet just write 50 more tweets or have them murdered. Simple. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It is a poor wit who lives by borrowing the words, decisions, mien, inventions and actions of others. — Johann Kaspar Lavater Copy Share Image
“If you want the truth from someone, just make them angry.” — Jason Gabriel Kondrath Copy Share Image
Woman can take unpredictable to a whole new level of psycho if you test them... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What if when we die the light at the end of the tunnel is, The opening of another Vagina — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
God made woman and the other day he made beer because he was like holy fuck, sorry bro. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned to say Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke in 6 languages. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To feel good about yourself, is there a quota on how many other people each day you have to condemn? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My GirlFriend told me that she want me to act a little more like her father. So I fucked her mom. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sweetie, if you opened a book more times than you opened your legs,you might actually get somewhere in life. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A zen couch potato is a person who contemplates the nature of televised existence. — Richard Helms Copy Share Image
