I drank so much beer that I feel like I can ejaculate a unicorn in full sprint. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel Gode. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are Laughing WITH you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was soooo drunk bro! - me using drunkenness to hide the fact that I like to bang fat chicks. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends Over And over again that you love them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically Converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Smoking one cigarette shortens your life by 14 minutes, but having sex lengthens it by 12 minutes. So smokers: screw for your lives! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't need beer to have a good time, I just need it to focus, avoid depression, good tweets, fall asleep, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Drinking a non-alcoholic beer is like licking your sisters pussy. It might taste the same but it's not fucking right. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you're drunk when you hear Look! That guy's so drunk he can't even walk! coming from a dude in a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are Tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that Ex-lovers Are really dying for you to telephone them at four… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I get drunk enough and lay on the floor, the world really does revolve around me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Math: 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I only drink on two occasions. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Took a compatibility test and the results said I get along best with beer. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Saying you like beer for it's taste is the same as saying you like women for their brains. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the Hell Happened to your bra and panties. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Drinking and driving is a lot like drinking and fucking; all it takes is one little accident and you're fucked! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
