There are times when you see the news, and you go, "How the hell am I meant to do anything tonight?" I'm… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Ratings experts say the best way to get people to watch during sweeps is to leave the audience with a question that… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Larry King has been married more times than Henry the Eighth. We used to have that rhyme to keep track of them.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I did have a love for literature that overpowered my hatred of the people who taught it, and I think because I… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
The first ads for medical marijuana have started airing on television in California. The ads are quite expensive. It costs a lot of money… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
