Sarcastic Quotes by Anonymous

260 Sarcastic quotes by Anonymous

A gas tank fills up while the speaker jokes about not wanting to eat. The lines poke fun at algebra, a Ferrari‑like sex life, and the absurdity of social media complaints. Each sentence twists a common topic into a sarcastic sting.

Rate this collection: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet

When I said I'd hit that I meant with my car.

Anonymous

Image

'Thank God It's Monday!' said no one ever...

Anonymous

Image

You grow on people, but so does cancer.

Anonymous

Image

Love your enemies.. it pisses them off.

Anonymous

Image

Slut jokes are just whoreable.

Anonymous

Image

I hate being in jail...I mean, school...

Anonymous

Image

He was happily married but his wife wasnt.

Anonymous

Image

I love you is 8 letters...so is bullshit.

Anonymous

Image

9/11 jokes aren't funny, they're just plane wrong.

Anonymous

Image

Mom, Im going out. 'With friends?' No, with people I hate...

Anonymous

Image

If you don't want a sarcastic answer, then don't ask a stupid question!

Anonymous

Image

Though we adore men individually, we agree as a group they're rather stupid.

Anonymous

Image

Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.

Anonymous

Image

I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.

Anonymous

Image

Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.

Anonymous

Image

I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.

Anonymous

Image

Individuals who have a sarcastic personality tend to be more honest & upfront, the type of people you want as friends.

Anonymous

Image

The human race is lucky I'm a nice guy, otherwise only 1/4 of them would be alive right now.

Anonymous

Image

It takes a lot of brain power to use sarcasm. The healthier your brain is, the easier it is to create a…

Anonymous

Image

21st Century is truly: LIFELESS Communication: WIRELESS Cooking:FIRELESS Youth:JOBLESS This Msg: MEANINGLESS Sender:PRICELESS Reader:USELESS...

Anonymous

Image

If I'm being sarcastic, please don't take offense. It's just my way of not punching you in the face.

Anonymous

Image

You posted a status on your friend's Facebook when he wasn't looking? Please tell me how great of a hacker you are.

Anonymous

Image

Dear 11 year old on Facebook with 'It's complicated.' Seriously????? What did he do??? Steal your animal crackers??

Anonymous

Image

You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.

Anonymous

Image

Am I nice? At times(I can be nice)...ask me do I give AF?no...am I a asshole? Yes of course...if u can't read…

Anonymous

Image

Let me ruin your life, let me break your heart, then I'll ask you why we can't be friends. Let me rip…

Anonymous

Image

So my friend's little brother pretended he was Superman, and I whispered to my friend that it was too imaginative. His brother…

Anonymous

Image

97% of people work a J.O.B( Just Over Broke). All of them want a M.B.A (Massive Bank Account). They are clueless on…

Anonymous

Image

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Anonymous

Image

I hate cripple jokes. I can't stand them.

Anonymous

Image

I bet you get bullied a lot.

Anonymous

Image

There's no sin in loving a man, only pain.

Anonymous

Image

You are not even beneath my contempt.

Anonymous

Image

Dont be humble. Youre not that great.

Anonymous

Image

“Me? Sarcastic? Never.”

Anonymous

Image

If you need space, work at NASA.

Anonymous

Image

Thank you for hurting me...

Anonymous

Image

I'm as bored as a slut on her period.

Anonymous

Image

Cheaters want you to be loyal while they're being unfaithful. Makes sense.

Anonymous

Image

Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.

Anonymous

Image

Other authors on Sarcastic

More by Anonymous

And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back

Anonymous

Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.

Anonymous

You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.…

Anonymous

Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t…

Anonymous

Everyone needs someone to love, and I choose you.

Anonymous

“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care…

Anonymous

Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,…

Anonymous

Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past…

Anonymous

Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer…

Anonymous

Im sorry I ever tried...

Anonymous

Being betrayed by the one you love is the worst feeling in the world...

Anonymous

Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.

Anonymous

The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much.

Anonymous

“Start a business, not a startup”

Anonymous

The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,…

Anonymous