Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
If SANTA CLAUS came down the chimney in a f**king jogging suit, you wouldn't even know it was him. — Wayne Coyne Copy Share Image
For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling. — Doug Larson Copy Share Image
I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch -… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
It is not my fault that my parents own the world's largest collection of black Santas. — John Green Copy Share Image
“Even though he knew the man behind the Santa suit wasn’t some mystical being, Elliott believed.” — Stella Starling Copy Share Image
LAST YEAR I ASKED SANTA FOR THE SEXIEST PERSON FOR CHRISTMAS… I WOKE UP IN A BOX — MEEE Copy Share Image
“David Copperfield has no magic in him. I'm talking about Santa flying around the world in one night kind of magic. Pumpkins… — Sydney Strand Copy Share Image
A true bubble is when something is overvalued and intensely believed. Education may be the only thing people still believe in in… — Peter Thiel Copy Share Image
My mouth gaped and I think I might have whimpered. The Norns had obliterated him completely—a creature they’d known for centuries—because of… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
“Losing your virginity is a lot like when you find out that Santa doesn’t exist… First you’re slightly disappointed, and then you’re… — Ben Mitchell Copy Share Image
Santa is a much bigger and more powerful faery than Toot, and I don't know his true name anyway. You'd never see… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
How is it possible that our parents lied to us?" "Lets see: Santa, the Tooth Fairy,the Easter bunny,um, God. You're the prettiest… — Brian K. Vaughan Copy Share Image
When I was a kid out here in L.A., I was homeless, I didn't have any money and I was living in… — Thomas Jane Copy Share Image
A few moments later Mom opened my door and peered in at me. "Logan Hansen is here to see you." If it… — Janette Rallison Copy Share Image
I think we've taken the meaning of Christmas out. People don't stop and think about Jesus or the birth of Jesus. When… — Billy Graham Copy Share Image
Look, I understand that for a lot of people, the US is superior to their country of residence in myriad ways, but… — Max Barry Copy Share Image
I wanted to be a marine biologist my whole life until I graduated high school. And even now, I'm still like, 'Maybe… — Cobie Smulders Copy Share Image
Each story, good and bad, short or long-from that trip to the mall when you saw Santa, to a long, bad illness-they… — Deb Caletti Copy Share Image
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that… — Francis Pharcellus Church Copy Share Image
[Trey Parker and Matt Stone]called me one Saturday morning and said, "Can you do an impression of Conan O'Brien?" And I said,… — Brent Spiner Copy Share Image
What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
![“[Trey Parker and Matt Stone]called me one Saturday morning and said, "Can you do an impression of Conan O'Brien?" And I said, "I don't know." Because that was really... He hadn't been on the air that long, and to be honest, I hadn't watched much of him at that point. So I went to Santa Monica to…” quote by Brent Spiner](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/16e/brent-spiner-2999_air_trey-parker-and-matt-stone-called-me-one_3133465.png)
