You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
“ It wasn't Glen's jealousy that surprised him. "You owe Roy money?" "Yep. Borrowed it to get my truck painted." "Roy's a… — Tom Franklin Copy Share Image
“Finally, we entered Chetaube County, my imaginary birthplace, where the names of the little winding roads and minuscule mountain communities never failed… — Sol Luckman Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
