People Quotes by Lewis Black

Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers... they are obviously alcoholics.

— Lewis Black

People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.

— Lewis Black

Some people have religion as a means of solace. But, I had a dreidel, so that was out.

— Lewis Black

My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform.

— Lewis Black

These people [the Christians] watched the Flintstones as if it were a documentary.

— Lewis Black

The people we elect aren't bipartisan. The American public is bipartisan.

— Lewis Black

I continue to work on plays, but I've always felt that you could put a note in a bottle and send it…

— Lewis Black

When people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. You should be shopping. Our…

— Lewis Black

I am angry that the Democrats don't have the ability to explain to Republicans that we should be able to feed people…

— Lewis Black

I don't Tweet a lot because I've Tweeted things that I thought were really innocuous about subjects that are inflammatory, and the…

— Lewis Black

You're on Facebook, and these people seem to have endless lives. I don't have time to live my life, let alone tell…

— Lewis Black

I do the same gig. I might change it a little; I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I…

— Lewis Black

When you're done [with writing a book], people tell you "Well, gee, I'm not interested." "Great, I'm glad I sat down and…

— Lewis Black

I've always been a social network retard, even before there was a social network. People would say, "You want to go to…

— Lewis Black

I'd like the campaigning to be about all the things they're not going to do. Just tell me what you're not going…

— Lewis Black

This is the thing I've never understood: If someone is going to hell for being gay or being a Jew or a…

— Lewis Black

None of this seems to affect the leadership, that people don't go out to vote, that they don't feel the need to…

— Lewis Black

I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it's…

— Lewis Black

I think inevitably over the course of my lifetime there's been an underestimation of the American people, and I believe they are…

— Lewis Black

Christians have created a holiday that has become a beast that cannot be fed. Christmas gets longer and longer and longer, and…

— Lewis Black

Going up to Canada is great because I'm not dealing with people carrying their agendas into the room. I'm lucky because 97%…

— Lewis Black

A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion.…

— Lewis Black

I've always really liked theater. It fascinated me. You can create a reality and get people involved in that reality. It takes…

— Lewis Black

You look at my audience, and it proves what Congress thinks America is, is wrong. I get people across the political spectrum.…

— Lewis Black

In Canada I'm not dealing with people who are bringing in baggage, they just get it. But New Orleans will be a…

— Lewis Black

These ballot initiatives remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so long as…

— Lewis Black

I have this insane optimistic streak that the American people prevail over the stupidity that the leadership exhibits time and time again,…

— Lewis Black

I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes…

— Lewis Black

The reason I like socialism is that it's kind of enforced Christianity. It's basically very Christian, in the sense of "do unto…

— Lewis Black

What makes it difficult for people trying to follow a dream is that the whole time you feel like you're slamming your…

— Lewis Black

I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let…

— Lewis Black

It's a big thing now: A lot of people want to be assistants to celebrities. If you're pursuing that, you're an idiot.…

— Lewis Black

I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to speak to…

— Lewis Black

If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and…

— Lewis Black

Democrats should be focused on which way we can help the most people in this country, and Republicans should be focused on…

— Lewis Black

For a while, I thought the great disappointment of my life was that I don't have a family of my own. Then…

— Lewis Black

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in…

— Lewis Black

I'm always amazed when I hear people saying, "That George Bush, he's a great leader". And I wonder, where can one find…

— Lewis Black

Saying that the Palestinian people aren't really a people - that's not a zany thing to say. That's a psychotic thing to…

— Lewis Black

People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your…

— Lewis Black