You can take my dirtiest, craziest joke, and I can break down in my head why there's a good, honest, honorable reason… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
It's become a running joke among the public, and liberals have lost all credibility when it comes to climate science because their… — Sonny Perdue Copy Share Image
“Its crazy when people of high moral standards, feel its okay for an intimate friend to insult them in a jovial way,… — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
A friend of mine once wrote a silly article about all these metrosexuals like David Beckham wearing sarongs, and she described me… — Kevin McCloud Copy Share Image
There have been times where I have said, even in a sketch that I'm not in, 'I don't think you should be… — Bowen Yang Copy Share Image
I say it all the time: Texas high school football. It's no joke. It's a big deal. And when you get good… — Baker Mayfield Copy Share Image
People said, 'What are you talking about? She's so small. What are you doing? This is a joke.' We didn't have the… — Sofia Kenin Copy Share Image
A pregnant lady went to an astrologer. Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die. Lady: Thank god! My husband… — AB Copy Share Image
The thing with the comedian is you can make all the jokes you want and not every joke it going to be… — Bianca Del Rio Copy Share Image
'Pyaar Ka Punchnama' was mainly a boys' film; we girls were just a catalyst. We would set up a situation for them… — Nushrat Bharucha Copy Share Image
I've definitely gotten to a place of complete surrealism where I feel like I'm living in 'The Truman Show' or something and… — Noah Kahan Copy Share Image
I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
In the end, perhaps we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that's continually retold in an accent too thick and… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
Sometimes an actor will stumble on the joke, and I'm right on them. Back it up before the audience hears the bad… — James Burrows Copy Share Image
I'm the type of guy that's always having a joke, messing around, but when it comes to the serious stuff, you know,… — Jesse Lingard Copy Share Image
I love musical theater so much. When done right, I think comedy songs can be the most efficient form of joke delivery.… — Rachel Bloom Copy Share Image
A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh,… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
What I usually do is tell funny stories from the road, many of which are, of course, unprintable. But I don't actually… — Howard Dean Copy Share Image
Whether people grow fat by joking, or whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never… — Edgar Allan Poe Copy Share Image
“I told the joke, but someone else got the high five. That’s like me drinking a cup of coffee and a guy… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I'd been shy since childhood, constantly full of self-doubt. And as an actor, I'd been so scared of failing that I made… — Emily Mortimer Copy Share Image
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't wear much makeup, except during work. I felt lucky to be chosen to be a model. I used to joke,… — Isabella Rossellini Copy Share Image
I feel like comedy is only respected on the highest level, and on every other level, it's like a joke, like, 'Ugh… — Michael Che Copy Share Image
I certainly got the jokes within the joke, dressing up in a wet suit, sitting in a Twingo, scaling a rubber mountain,… — Pierce Brosnan Copy Share Image
“We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Any comic is a very good actor. Look at Don Rickles. He is saying the same joke every night for 20 years… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I watched the classics as a kid, and I could tell that Bugs Bunny in drag was a cartoon and a joke.… — Alex Hirsch Copy Share Image
I still mess around and joke with my family and friends like I did when I was nine or 10. For me,… — Gareth Bale Copy Share Image
I really like comedy. There's always a choice, when you're writing: you can either go for the joke or you can go… — David Chase Copy Share Image
“Naturally Teseo had a joke about all the government promises to increase housing construction: “If there were no future tense in Spanish,… — Regina Anavy Copy Share Image
“Okay. I guess I’m just having a little trouble getting this all straight.”“It’s not ‘straight’ -- it’s gay. That’s why you’re having… — Bobby Michaels Copy Share Image
I've had times where I've joked, like, 'I'm going to move to Vermont and become a painter.' And sometimes that joke felt… — Kate Micucci Copy Share Image
In fact during 'Rock On,' there were so many women on set that sometimes we used to joke that if this becomes… — Prachi Desai Copy Share Image
I know what's funny, and I probably know the best way to deliver the joke. Whether it's walking out of a room,… — James Burrows Copy Share Image
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a civil engineer. No joke. I would come home from school and… — Bitsie Tulloch Copy Share Image
Written by the ancient Chinese philosopher of the same name, the 'Zhuangzi' is one long perplexing puzzle of a rambling collection of… — Patrick Stump Copy Share Image
Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
People have been known to joke that my lifelong love of portal fantasies was born, at least in part, from the fact… — Seanan McGuire Copy Share Image
My favorite show tune has got to be Stephen Sondheim's 'I Remember Sky.' It's probably the saddest song of all time; I… — Laura Benanti Copy Share Image
