“To evade insanity and depression, we unconsciously limit the number of people toward whom we are sincerely sympathetic.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I'm not actually a gang member. I know that's kind of like a joke on the Internet. — Rubi Rose Copy Share Image
“But that's why you pay for insurance, right? If you never file a claim, then they've beaten you.” — Jonathan Tropper Copy Share Image
Joke stealing is a big deal to me, but I mean, I'm not going to investigate it if it doesn't effect me… — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
“Well, excuse me for trying to make a joke,” Robbie retorted. “You’ll never give up” — V.K. Sykes Copy Share Image
The joke is the purest, most essential form of storytelling. Every word has to count. — Paul Auster Copy Share Image
I hope if I'm going to do a dirty joke, it's at least clever and not cheap. — Taylor Tomlinson Copy Share Image
No joke would sound laughable once you have heard it already. Then why let the same pain, hurt you more than once? — Aldyna Threesya Copy Share Image
“The great joke is that the next time is never like the last time, and yet we can’t help readying ourselves for… — Peter Lynch Copy Share Image
You can't wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join… — Franklyn Ajaye Copy Share Image
I have been recording every single one of my shows since 1994. Every single joke I've ever done is on a hard… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
“Yeah, go ahead and get the forbidden garden comment out of your system. And no matter what witty snake joke you're considering?… — Leah Clifford Copy Share Image
Some People Don't Know When To Open Their Mouth And Talk. They Don't Know When To Start And Stop. They Don't Know… — Sabelo Lan Mashabela Copy Share Image
'The State' had never done improv. We used to go over scripts for weeks and argue about every joke. But I don't… — Robert Ben Garant Copy Share Image
I do a joke in my stand-up where I say I'm a Christian, but I'm not a Christian comedian. I think that's… — Anjelah Johnson Copy Share Image
I'm not good at telling a joke, but I can say a line in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable because… — Walton Goggins Copy Share Image
We write and write and write until we think, 'If we have to shoot this script, we'll be happy, and it's going… — Jay Chandrasekhar Copy Share Image
“Vathah shut the door for her, then looked in the window. “Most men are idiots.” “Nonsense,” Shallan said, smiling. “By the law… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
Why god like play the joke...? Make me far away from my luv? She told me bye forever bye don't have time… — HourBebe Copy Share Image
In the India I was growing up in, history wasn't really a wise career option. People would joke and say, 'History's okay,… — Amish Tripathi Copy Share Image
I have 16 plays, and we don't ever do subtitles. You can't do subtitles in the theater, so I was like, 'I'm… — Tanya Saracho Copy Share Image
Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in… — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
“The joke is this impersonal possession. It doesn’t have anyone’s signature. It was given to me—but you didn’t make it up; it… — Susan Sontag Copy Share Image
“However, a good laugh is a mighty good thing, and rather too scarce a good thing; the more's the pity. So, if… — Herman Melville Copy Share Image
If I write a joke, sometimes people will call it a 'lie,' and I'm fascinated with that. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
In life there are always these things happening if you can just get the joke. — Lynda Barry Copy Share Image
Dick Martin, if you put a gun to his forehead, he couldn't tell you a joke. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I feel dyslexia is a strong point in me now. I usually joke that it's like a superpower - you only have… — James William Middleton Copy Share Image
I sometimes joke that I can take personal responsibility for saving one million human relationships. — Jaan Tallinn Copy Share Image
When I was a child, if someone had talked to me about buying water, I would have thought it was a joke. — Assata Shakur Copy Share Image
And the bigger the fall, the bigger the joke. It would be better fun to throw a custard pie at a bishop… — George Orwell Copy Share Image
I can't imagine saying the same joke for three hours. I don't know how that would work. — Daniela Bobadilla Copy Share Image
In Europe, they travel a lot lighter. I always joke that my Indonesian passengers bring their house and their neighbor's house. — Tony Fernandes Copy Share Image
A comic strip has a rhythm and a pattern, and you got to get in and out quick. So you set up… — Stephan Pastis Copy Share Image
English had hit upon a splendid joke. The intended to catch me or to bring me down. — Manfred von Richthofen Copy Share Image
“Puns are just another form of sarcasm, which may or may not make you - smile, giggle, or laugh.” — Aniruddha Sastikar Copy Share Image
Like all women, I've had a pretty awful time in many ways, but it's always possible to either make a joke or… — Emma Tennant Copy Share Image
Whenever my family brought up the topic of my marriage, I'd joke that I would marry only a princess. — S. Sreesanth Copy Share Image
They film 'Midsomer Murders' near our village, so we joke that if ever there was a murder we'd call for DCI Barnaby. — Tony Hadley Copy Share Image
You have to be highly intelligent to get away with a dumb joke. That takes a pretty smart fella. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
