I always joke that everything else that I do is to support my theater habit. — Megan Hilty Copy Share Image
“You really should learn how to take a joke, as easily as you take a dick." -Shirley” — Charli McBride Copy Share Image
“Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
We need more intellect and humor back on television, instead of the lowest common denominator of comedy - like the fart joke! — Eddie Griffin Copy Share Image
I'll do a joke on purpose that really doesn't work just to show that that's funny. — Deon Cole Copy Share Image
I always joke around and say my lifestyle is kind of like James Bond. — Bruce Buffer Copy Share Image
You might like it as a joke or because you liked it then, but there isn't a whole new generation discovering Wham!. — Rob Zombie Copy Share Image
A dirty joke is not, of course, a serious attack on morality, but it is a sort of mental rebellion, a momentary… — George Orwell Copy Share Image
No-one wants to hear a crude joke at the expense of the Principal, or the Bridegroom, or the head of the company.… — Rachel Parris Copy Share Image
“If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic… — Marcus Brigstocke Copy Share Image
“Joke or not, something is occurring to me. You live your life, and you get to ask for things, and sometimes they… — Elizabeth Berg Copy Share Image
I don't really tell a joke, I react to situations. The whole thing is just looking at somebody and showing all our… — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I never knew what basketball was. I started playing on the playground. People used to laugh at me and joke at me… — Patrick Ewing Copy Share Image
I always joke with my husband that, whenever he comes back from being gone for awhile, I'm like, 'You're like a feral… — Simone Missick Copy Share Image
I always joke that my kids' favorite holiday is Father's Day. They love the way I celebrate the occasion by writing each… — Wayne Dyer Copy Share Image
If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny,… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
“As far as he could discover, there were no signs of spring. The decay that covered the surface of the mottled ground… — Nathanael West Copy Share Image
“Never ever make a joke to the police, they have no sense of humour. Never make a political joke, it will always… — Dick Francis Copy Share Image
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, I slept with your mother!… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You wore Doc Martens and purple hair. I wore my insecurity on a button-up. it wasn't meant to be. But then the… — Allison Raskin Copy Share Image
A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke… — Soren Kierkegaard Copy Share Image
I remember being a kid, and if you had to pee, well, you had to hold it until the commercial break. Then… — America Ferrera Copy Share Image
Guy: Wanna hear a joke about my d*ck? Nvm its too long. Girl: Wanna hear a joke about my p*ssy? Nvm you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I've never really played comedic parts. — Joel Kinnaman Copy Share Image
Wife: Sweetheart, I'm pregnant! Oh my God, what would you want it to be? Husband: A joke. 1 Jul — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To ease the pain, you have to learn to use what cost your a pain and turn it to a joke that… — Simphiwe Ntuli Copy Share Image
Poetry is like making a joke. If you get one word wrong at the end of a joke, you've lost the whole… — W. S. Merwin Copy Share Image
The youngest child in any family is always a jokemaker, because a joke is the only way he can enter into an… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor. — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
There is only so many times you can say, 'Trump tweeted something that was bad.' That is not a joke to me. — Michelle Wolf Copy Share Image
When I'm up on stage and do a joke, half the people interpret it one way and half of them interpret it… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
“If a black black cat crosses your path, it suggests that the animal is going somewhere.” — M.K. Bhutta Copy Share Image
“Joke: What did the little firefly say to his friends when they played hide-and-seek? "Ready or not, here I glow!” — Heather Wolf Copy Share Image
If you are cracking a joke on me and in counter cannot take a joke when I am cracking on you, then,… — Kiku Sharda Copy Share Image
You can read Kant by yourself, if you wanted to; but you must share a joke with someone else. — Robert Louis Stevenson Copy Share Image
If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke. — Richard Russo Copy Share Image
