“Don't eat earwax avoid roasted cabbage and look on the bright side of life -Angela” — Christopher Paolini Copy Share Image
“If the pen is mightier than the sword, then what is the laptop? A light saber or a life saver?” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.” — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
“A comedian is better than a politician; at least there is no doubt.” — Bangambiki Habyarimana Copy Share Image
“If they were afraid of him, then he must be Satan or something even worse, like maybe Sarah Palin.” — Stephani Hecht Copy Share Image
“Sweetie, you don't need to drive me to the brink of insanity... I'm close enough to walk!” — Comic Strip Mama Copy Share Image
“How beautiful would history have been if it could be written beforehand and then acted out like drama!” — Aihebholo-oria Okonoboh Copy Share Image
“His question is pretty dangerous for me to try to answer, so I don’t—it continues to hang out there like the stained… — Jen Naumann Copy Share Image
“...every year for decades there had been great excitement over the Largest Vegetable competition ("That would be my husband", was the standard… — G.M. Malliet Copy Share Image
“Men are born with a great asset of weak memory, especially for the bad moments. It’s not the same with women though.… — Mita Jain Copy Share Image
“Much of writing might be described as mental pregnancy with successive difficult deliveries. J.B. PRIESTLEY” — Janice Lane Palko Copy Share Image
“Do you believe your gentle birth will turn a bullet?" "Why, yes," Rhett said solemnly. "Hell yes! Gentle birth's got to be… — Donald McCaig Copy Share Image
“I doubt you would recognize an adventure of any sort if it came right up and bit you on the a--- Mother!… — Victoria Alexander Copy Share Image
“Quote from In Love of Honey, Money…and My Virgin Passport If you think you’ve the most wicked sense of humour, try life!” — Mita Jain Copy Share Image
“Not only was good ole boy intolerance the norm in big sky country, there appeared to be no need or desire to… — D.K. King Copy Share Image
“My instructor was a skinny guy in his midtwenties who had a shaved head that was always peeling from sunburns and who… — Justin Halpern Copy Share Image
“A bug lies in quiet repose; when he passed no one knows. Did he suffer, was he pained? Before he died, was… — Nikhil Sharda Copy Share Image
“If you fall in love with a character, then you are actually falling in love with the author that wrote the character.… — Heather Dowell Copy Share Image
“In the midst of this hormonal gloom, however, the calvary finally arrives, over the hill, jangling its spurs, and epaulettes shining in… — Caitlin Moran Copy Share Image
“However, on glimpsing in shop window realized outfit insane. Now am on bus, remember also that corset-ike nature of dress is torture… — Helen Fielding Copy Share Image
“God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man. In truth, I know it is a sin to be a… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“Oh- hey, there," he said. He was shorter than me, pudgy with salt-and-pepper hair that always seemed to be in need of… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“Yea though I walk through the Valley of Death, I shall fear no evil, for I am the baddest M-F in the… — Cherise Sinclair Copy Share Image
“Have you ever noticed that folks will say ‘Look, he has his mama’s eyes’ or ‘his daddy’s nose,’ but they never say… — Suzie Quint Copy Share Image
“A Prince asked the dying spanish statesman, "Does your Excellency forgive all your enemies?" "I do not have to forgive all my… — Robert Greene Copy Share Image
“I observe that there is a good deal of German music on the programme, which is rather more to my taste than… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
“I've always worried a lot. And frankly I'm good at it." The late Erma Bombeck, one of the funniest women ever.” — Catherine Robertson Copy Share Image
“Did you ever notice how the words Attention and Alienation look the same when you are staring at them from a distance?” — Alisia Compton Copy Share Image
“In my family nudity just doesn’t exist; I’m pretty sure my parents were both born fully clothed and still shower that way.” — Huston Piner Copy Share Image
“I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy.… — C. JoyBell C Copy Share Image
“Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.” — Matshona Dhliwayo Copy Share Image
“A hand closed around her arm, warm and hard, and it could possibly have been comforting if she had possessed the faintest… — Lilith Saintcrow Copy Share Image
“First month honey. . .Next month pie. . .Third month. . .Get out here and work, you damn bitch, same as I.” — Karen Cecil Smith Copy Share Image
“Is it necessary, do you think,’ he began, leaning in so close behind me that I could smell his breath, ‘for the… — Danielle Wood Copy Share Image
“Oh, adorable, delicious Amelie. If I weren't so completely straight and enamored with cock, I would devour this sweet little tart.” — Ella Dominguez Copy Share Image
“Carrot started to clap. It wasn't the clap used by middlings to encourage underlings to applaud overlings. It had genuine enthusiasm behind… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Why do these big old country houses always have family portraits in the dining room? Do you really want to eat with… — Elizabeth Jane Howard Copy Share Image
“Shelly looked around the jamb again as though whatever animal that had been terrorizing her had a weapon. “That doesn’t look like… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
