“I was very responsible, and very mature. Travis says otherwise, but he’s not important right now. We’re focused on me.” — Finn Eccleston Copy Share Image
If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when your parents don't appreciate the hilarious child they have been blessed with…. Lolzzzz :D — Archie Copy Share Image
“You have to be out of your mind. What kind of clinic lets people operate on themselves?” “Well, Suture Self.” ” — Steve Bates Copy Share Image
“Life is not fucked up by accident; it is fucked up on purpose!!!” — Jason Gabriel Kondrath Copy Share Image
“Can we at least avoid the cannibals? I prefer not to vomit when screaming for my life.” — Emory R. Frie Copy Share Image
“So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.” — Fakeer Ishavardas Copy Share Image
There is a different between boys and parking spaces, Good ones are always taken and only ones left are handicaps. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
“If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
Ive gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller's parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a… — Maria Copy Share Image
“And there were carved hearts in the trunks of trees with the initials of couples who felt there was no more romantic… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS? ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS. MY FRIEND:… — KanyaACoffman Copy Share Image
“How come there's no commandment that says "Thou shalt not rape"? Did God ask Mary for consent before he put a baby… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“Make yourself into a battery to store some of this feeling; it is the currency of your life... There will be many… — Dessa Copy Share Image
“The Captain’s boat inspections were always pretty slapdash, because they mainly just involved him looking at the ropes and planks and barnacles… — Gideon Defoe Copy Share Image
Wtf Are You Looking At ? Yo' Momma's Regret , Daddies Broken Condom , & The Doctors Failed Abortion ! — Pepaaa Copy Share Image
“Christians believe that God loves you sooo much... he created hell, just in case you don't love him back.” — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“It makes you look like Audrey Hepburn. If she'd been a surfer." "I don't surf." "Neither did Audrey Hepburn,” — Cath Crowley Copy Share Image
I wish raindrops where tequila,so that I dont have to tell my m0m,i dont drink,its raining. — Redeyeen Copy Share Image
“You ‘accidentally’ touched his bottom? Didn’t that happen when you last saw him as well? Surprising how often that seems to be… — Twisted Hilarity Copy Share Image
“As I reflect on all my friends and colleagues in my life on this special occasion... Mother is only half the word… — Mark W Boyer Copy Share Image
“You should really smile more Miss.” “Smiling Is overrated.” my voice as sharp as a knife, my voice deadpanned, as I sulked… — Shayla Orick Copy Share Image
You want to come in my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“...and in repose one might have admired so fine a specimen of English manhood, until the foppish ways, the affected movements, the… — Emmuska Orczy Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when the teacher points at the person behind you and you think the teacher was pointing at you so… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Holy shit! Can we say unstable? Was I the only sane one around here? Well, I guess that really wasn’t setting the… — Stacey Marie Brown Copy Share Image
“Jihadis! Please go to your imaginary heaven - out there, nowhere. Us, the infidel lot, have helluva lot to do after you… — Fakeer Ishavardas Copy Share Image
“You're boring me, M'Ordant. Go away." V'Aidan "You can't be bored." M'Ordant "And a good thing, too, since I'd no doubt perish… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
The only day I find happiness is the day you die! I don't know when I will be happy but I can… — Jarrod Copy Share Image
“God, woman.” He closed his fist, not bothering to count off the dozens of other things she shouldn’t do. “You give me… — Cristin Harber Copy Share Image
“I decide that I hate him. I will not talk to him, or question him again, or reach out to him. I… — Ann Liang Copy Share Image
Joe Biden wants to meet with video game developers about gun control. That's like meeting with Kristen Stewart to learn how to… — Thegr81 Copy Share Image
What do you do when your mother inlaw snds horrible messages? A:send her an accidental message- Thanks babe I love you and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“So , you can hate the heir to the throne all you want, write mean poems about him in your diary, but… — Casey McQuiston Copy Share Image
“Fun fact: Kennedy was the first catholic president. Obama was the first black president. Trump is the first mentally ill president.” — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“Celaena?” Sam asked into the dark. “Should I worry about going to sleep?” She blinked, then laughed under her breath. At least… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
“I decided to do the easy task of changing situations and conditions by being a hero, than staying back to do the… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
“You really are a pain in the ass,” he laughs. I swat him playfully, laughing too as a single tear rolls down… — Kandi Steiner Copy Share Image