I look at people sometimes and think ¦.. Really? Thats the sperm that won! — Deep Patel Copy Share Image
“When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
“I don’t think this is working out between us,” I told him. “You and I want different things. It’s not me, it’s… — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
“Life isn't over until you're dead. Another ultra-positive, ultra-motivational tweet to improve your day. You're welcome.” — Carla H. Krueger Copy Share Image
*A nerdy guys phone goes off* Jock: Who was that, your girlfriend? *Everyone laughs* Nerd: Nope. It was yours. *Dead silence* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“If you want breakfast in bed, you have to concider sleeping in the kitchen>” — Foster "Raul" Mkhabele Copy Share Image
“I grab him before he can run off. "I love you." But it's not just Emile's voice that answers me. Five others… — Saxon James Copy Share Image
“If God created man in his image... Does God have a functioning penis? And does God manually handle every penis he creates?… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“Mew - mew. Mew.” I jump back from her finger swipes. “I am fluent in pussy, but I have no idea what… — Pella Grace Copy Share Image
“Marg muttered something under her breath. It was either “Who does he think he is?” or “I hope he has no kids.”… — Finn Eccleston Copy Share Image
“Well, then, Otter, of course I don’t like Bundt cake. It has eggs in it. Baby chicken eggs. You don’t see chickens… — TJ Klune Copy Share Image
“I love religious nuts. They make me remember I have them too. So, being a health nut, I scratch them religiously. Just… — Fakeer Ishavardas Copy Share Image
“I was so caught up in my thoughts I did not notice the wire till I got caught up in it. Right.… — Finn Eccleston Copy Share Image
When a female cop pull you over for speeding, to get out of the ticket, talk nice to her, try to flirt… — Werley Nortreus Copy Share Image
“The Captain was wearing his best blousey shirt, his beard was gleaming in the early morning light and he’d polished all his… — Gideon Defoe Copy Share Image
“Men looove pussy. They can never get enough of it. If you send a guy a pussy pic, he's gonna think you're… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“Care to explain?” Ari asked. “Didn’t you see my signals?” “Yeah. But they didn’t make sense. Five into one and it’s an… — Maria V. Snyder Copy Share Image
“I tear my lips away from hers and fling her over my shoulder. “Hey!” she protests, kicking her feet and slapping me… — Dolores Lane Copy Share Image
“I might be an arse but nobody deserves to be drinking double vodka on their own in the middle of the day,”… — Raven Elliot O'Connor Copy Share Image
“Vivian’s first impression of Solidago was that she had travelled back in time, but not to a time where architecture had been… — Louise Blackwick Copy Share Image
“Ladies, I have bad news for you. Men are pigs. No really. I know you think you know what I'm talking about… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“It's probably not easy for a woman to understand what it's like to be a man. Imagine you're starving, and someone puts… — Oliver Markus Copy Share Image
