Funny friend Quotes

Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.

— Otto von Bismarck

A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.

— Anonymous

A friend may be waiting behind a stranger's face.

— Maya Angelou

Why would anybody want a friend?

— Jerry Seinfeld

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo..

— Oprah Winfrey

I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.

— Euripides

Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.

— Anonymous

Without friends the world is but a wilderness.

— Francis Bacon

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

— Oscar Wilde

You know when you have that one crazy funny friend that always make you question 'what is wrong with you?'

— Anonymous

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

— Spike Milligan

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd, Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.

— Alexander Pope

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.

— George Burns

Every man should have a fair-sized cemetary in which to bury the faults of his friends.

— Henry Adams

At the shrine of friendship never say die, let the wine of friendship never run dry

— Victor Hugo

You're the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we'd know each other a long time.

— Brian Andreas

What I know for sure is that if you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out…

— Oprah Winfrey

It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow…

— Jerry Seinfeld

I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub;…

— Sally Phillips

I'd like to be the sort of friend that you have been to me. I'd like to be the help that you've…

— Anonymous

Anyone can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success.

— Oscar Wilde

In loneliness, in sickness, in confusion-the mere knowledge of friendship makes it possible to endure, even if the friend is powerless to…

— Pam Brown

I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives…

— Jeff Foxworthy

TV deals in very broad strokes. Like, 'Oh, that's my dumb friend', or, 'That's my funny friend.' A true best friend, a…

— Willie Garson

I don't believe in things like that - fairies or brownies or magic or anything. It's old-fashioned.' 'Well, we must be jolly…

— Enid Blyton

I don't like half the folks I love.

— Paul Thorn

Be a friend to thyself, and others will be so too.

— Thomas Fuller

It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell.

— George Herbert

Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love.

— Elie Wiesel

Oooh I get by with a little help from my friends.

— Joe Cocker

Friends are what God gives you to make up for your family.

— Bruce White

Life is so much friendlier with two.

— A. A. Milne

It is good to have some friends both in heaven and hell.

— George Herbert

You Too? I thought I was the only one.

— C. S. Lewis

If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.

— Harry S. Truman

If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them

— Andy Borowitz

I just killed my best friend... and my worst enemy. What's the difference?

— Christian Slater

Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the…

— Charles Caleb Colton

A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.

— George Ade

If you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.

— Muhammad Ali