Facebook event invites from people you barely know should really have a 'seriously?' option in the reply. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love how face book shows when a message is seen now ain't no one gonna lie about it. Guilty as Charge — Solene Gemtessa Copy Share Image
Your the type of person who walks up while I'm cutting grass and ask what I'm doing? Bitch I'm cutting grass ... — Lonniedagreat Copy Share Image
If Facebook ever shuts down. You'll see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in others faces screaming 'Do you like this!?!?!.. DO… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If the world was run by women, it would be mostly peaceful with heated arguments every 28 days. — Alec Straub Copy Share Image
I want to go on a shopping trip where I am the only one in the shopping mall and everything I want… — Mee Copy Share Image
He'll never be better than he is on the first date. Unless he's rich and hasn't told you yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Calories are just little tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you mess up a guy's hair, he thinks it's cute. But when you mess up a GIRL'S hair... I hope you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Blonde and Brunette r walking on the road.brunette says Look, a dead bird. Blonde looks up in the sky, WHERE, WHERE? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy: you are the most funniest and beautiful girl I have ever met. Girl: you just want to fuck me. Boy: wow.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Spooning For girls: A nice, warm and cozy cuddle. For guys: A dead arm, a face full of hair and a awkward… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you pick up a phone call and wish you didn't because the caller's asking for something you don't… — Saramae Copy Share Image
This ho says boy I got high heels bigger than your dick, sikee reply bitch I got sneakers fresher than your Pussy... — Kevin Mccarty Copy Share Image
It's kinda funny how in 2010 and 2011 people were freaking out about 2012. Now it's four months away from December and… — Will Ferrell Copy Share Image
I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter of civilization — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Girl's Life Lesson 1: Crying confuses men. They get uncomfortable and will do anything to get it to stop. Take advantage. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you're home alone and you hear a strange noise & you're just like - _ - WTF! WHO'S THERE?! — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
I love Justin Bieber Well, I love McDonalds but you don't see me making an account pretending to be a fucking chicken… — Maicy Rasmus Copy Share Image
Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to photoshop, in person your order looks nothing like the photo on the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The other day a girl wearing a shirt that says I'm just waiting for a better day so I Smooched her &… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't forget to tell everyone how you hate Mondays, because we were all wondering how you feel about them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You claim to be a bad bitch, yet you have no car, no house, and no job. You're not a bad bitch,… — SandraB Copy Share Image
Why do porn sites have a Share To Facebook button??? Who watches porn and thinks, You kno who would really enjoy this????… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Million dollar idea for a sci-fic movie: A world just like ours but with one key difference. When your phone dies, YOU… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you fuck over people who've been nothing but good to you, you create demons for yourself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment, when your phone goes off, when yournot suppose to have it on, or with you at all. — Syoung Copy Share Image
Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of your ears — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
KISSING, A method of getting two people so close together that they can't possibly see anything wrong with each other; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A female saying that she doesn't like attention is like a guy saying he doesn't like getting blowjobs. -Just Saying — Ephrem Hardin Copy Share Image
Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance. Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair. Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage. Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
