Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 26

In the Beginning, God made the Heaven and Earth. The rest was Made in China

— Punkinhead Abhishek

I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower on stage.

— Anonymous

Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us

— Hussein Nishah

Why I don't have any friends? Asking for a friend.

— Nikhil Saluja

I get mini Heart attacks if I dont feel my phone in my pocket

— Rahul

Started writing poetry the other day. POETR, it's coming along nicely.

— Anonymous

Dear Maths Stop Asking Me To Find Your X!! She'z Not Coming Back

— Anonymous

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

— Anonymous

It's not a day that don't go by that I don't thank God for waking me up to enjoy life and appreciate…

— Nikhil Saluja

Our deepest sympathies to Aaron Hernandez's fellow prison inmates on not getting someone as pretty as Tom Brady.

— Anonymous

A man post a status onto his wall, ''tonight I'm gonna sleep in terrace'' 55 mosquitos likes

— Anonymous

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have…

— Anonymous

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you're wrong and you shut up, you're wise. If you're right and you shut up, you're married.

— Itsme867

After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy

— Hussein Nishah

If Shes A Keeper. . . . .Then KEEP Her ! If She's A Freak. . . . .Then FREAK Her. .…

— Jason Santana

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!

— Anonymous

Sexy singles near you, but they are not interested.

— Nikhil Saluja

God made everything that has life. And the rest is made in China.

— Kcee Cunanan

A guy tells you he loves you. The man shows you he does.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hope you're feeling okay after being sexually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.

— Anonymous

When life gives you lemons, take a shot of tequila

— Anonymous

FART THEN WAIT TILL SOMEBODY ELSE SMELL IT THEN BLAME THEM…AND YOU KNOW YOU DID IT..

— Renneec

If she doesn't know who Biggie Smalls is, she's to young for you bro!!

— CJ

I would love to start working out, but I'm putting on weight for my before picture.

— Anonymous

It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer.

— Nikhil Saluja

In Africa, Temple Run is not just a game, its a life style.

— Kalle Amadou

300 likes 200 comments, what's missing? Her clothes lol

— Armin Ferizovic

School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay.

— Nikhil Saluja

Barack Obama bowled a 37. Is he black enough for you now?

— Nikhil Saluja

Hey that's not fair! - A dumb bitch realizing she got bad directions to the fair.

— Nikhil Saluja

There is nothing like love in this world unless you experience it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Fat people cry on purpose so they can taste their tears.

— Anonymous

If money grew on trees,Girls would date monkey!!!

— Punkinhead Abhishek

A boy will manipulate your heart. The man explores it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed

— Nikhil Saluja

Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat.

— Nikhil Saluja

Humility is a virtue until one becomes proud of it.

— Nikhil Saluja

What you see is what you get, so make your move you wont regret.

— Anonymous

I wish I had Dora's mom and dad, they let that girl go everywhere.

— Tanya Bianco