Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 23

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

— Nikhil Saluja

KISSING, An action that only marriage can transform from a pleasure to a duty

— Nikhil Saluja

That moment when waiting for you is like a decade. Im fucking miss you.

— Yvonne Urlanda

Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?

— Nikhil Saluja

Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.

— Anonymous

A wise man once told me, if we were all fatter we would be closer together!..

— Anonymous

I aspire to be the beautiful, together person my Facebook profile suggests I am.

— Anonymous

She became a lifeguard at the beach and kept the buoys in line.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'

— Anonymous

Million dollar idea for a sci-fic movie: A world just like ours but with one key difference. When your phone dies, YOU…

— Nikhil Saluja

When you fuck over people who've been nothing but good to you, you create demons for yourself.

— Nikhil Saluja

That awkward moment, when your phone goes off, when yournot suppose to have it on, or with you at all.

— Syoung

If Facebook ever shuts down. You'll see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in others faces screaming 'Do you like this!?!?!.. DO…

— Anonymous

Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

— Nikhil Saluja

If the world was run by women, it would be mostly peaceful with heated arguments every 28 days.

— Alec Straub

I want to go on a shopping trip where I am the only one in the shopping mall and everything I want…

— Mee

Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date.

— Anonymous

Rubix cubes are EASY…when you're color blind.

— Anonymous

If plan A didnt work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Stay Cool.

— Becca

Dear Facebook, Pretty Soon, They'll All Abandon You, Too. Sincerely, MySpace

— Toni Watson

Woman say:I JUST NEED SOME SPACE Woman means:without you in it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whoever said I can't cooked has obviously never tried my cereals.

— Anonymous

In Kindergarten we called them cooties...in High School we call them STD's.

— Tanya Bianco

The kiss, a sweet discovery of oneself after a long search.

— Nikhil Saluja

Facebook said I cant be in relationship with myself

— Anonymous

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whoever said white men can't jump has clearly never played Temple Run.

— Anonymous

I have a simple taste.. I'm only satisfied with the best

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE LETTERS, are best mailed in the waste basket

— Nikhil Saluja

After sending a risky text, one minute seems like an eternity...

— Becca

LOVE, Consists of happiness, given back and forth;

— Nikhil Saluja

Never argue with who types faster than u…:-):-P

— Amarjayan

The sight of a womans cleavage reduces a mans ability to think clearly by 50%…per boob.

— Nikhil Saluja

I love how every time I get a text, it must start with 'Dear Customer'.

— Anonymous

Laughing stock is really cattle with a sense of humor.

— Nikhil Saluja

The best feeling when u get out da shower & u can walk around ya spot nake

— IG:catone_2_funny

That awkward moment when a GPS tells a gay person to go straight

— Unkown

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single FUCK THIS.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't do drugs kids. There's a time and place for everything. It's called college.

— Anonymous

Remember, ladies: mouthwash is still cheaper than an abortion.

— Nikhil Saluja