Funny easter Quotes · Page 2

I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs... but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.

— Caroline Rhea

You're old enough to be told that the Easter Bunny and Jesus aren't real.

— Anonymous

You know you're ghetto when you only go to church on Easter to meet women.

— Anonymous

Easter is the only time of the year when it's perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket.

— Anonymous

Believing in the Easter bunny is like saying you believe in an over sized, purple bunny, pooping colorful eggs on your lawn.

— Anonymous

Let's take a break from debating gay marriage to remember an unmarried 33-year-old man who hung out with 12 dudes.

— Anonymous

A nice Jewish man rising from the dead seems less miraculous than finding one I can date.

— Anonymous

Sorry I said TGIF on the anniversary of your god's son's violent execution.

— Anonymous

I wonder if Jesus will make a special appearance on The Walking Dead this Sunday.

— Anonymous

If the Easter bunnies been to your house, remember, those brown ones are not jelly beans. . . .

— Rick Sutter

I wish the resurrection of our lord and savior was deemed important enough for a day off work.

— Anonymous

Christ the Lord is risen to-day, Sons of men and angels say. Raise your joys and triumphs high; Sing, ye heavens, and…

— Charles Wesley

Well pleaseth me the sweet time of Easter. That maketh the leaf and the flower come out.

— Bertran de Born

Adorable candy will help distract us from the astounding horror of a man being nailed to a cross.

— Anonymous

Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.

— Garrison Keillor

Don't you hate when people only go to church on Easter Sunday dressing like peacocks taking up all the good seats.

— Anonymous

For I remember it is Easter morn, And life and love and peace are all new born.

— Alice Freeman Palmer

'Twas Easter-Sunday. The full-blossomed trees Filled all the air with fragrance and with joy.

— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Let's resume everything we gave up for Lent without any new found spiritual insights.

— Anonymous

You'll wake up on Easter morning, And you'll know that he was there, When you find those choc'late bunnies, That he's hiding…

— Gene Autry

Easter is when a lot of people repent, and wish they'd bought the outfit that was on sale.

— Anonymous