The devil told my mind that my thoughts held no power; and this seemed true until my thoughts I began to speak. — Stefanie Schneider Copy Share Image
Things don't spiral out of control when we surrender them; they spiral out of control when we try to control them! — Marianne Williamson Copy Share Image
My new millionaire idea is one regular shoe and one "swollen" shoe, for when you get bit by a rattlesnake. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
If you wear a toupee, why not let your friends try it on for a while? Come on, we're not going to… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that "wishing" isn't going to… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
You know what would be the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to a flea? Getting caught inside a watch somehow.… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your in super deep thought. Then 3 minutes later you realize you are staring directly at someone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When we destroy something crated by man we call it vandalism but when we destroy something by nature we call it progress. — Ed Begley, Jr Copy Share Image
I think a new, different kind of bowling should be "carpet bowling." It's just like regular bowling, only the lanes are carpet… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Being is accessible to you now as your own deepest self, your true nature. But don't seek to grasp it with your… — Eckhart Tolle Copy Share Image
The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The idea of overcoming is always fascinating to me. It's fascinating because few of us realize how much energy we have expended… — Maya Angelou Copy Share Image
The secret to freedom is to realize that you don’t have to believe your mind. You don’t have to believe your story.… — T. Harv Eker Copy Share Image
If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don't think it's a good… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Nature avenges herself speedily on the hard pedantry that would chain her waves. She is no literalist. Every thing must be taken… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch. — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
Remember, having faith means recognizing the value of what you are here to contribute to the world and allowing your actions to… — Marie Forleo Copy Share Image
It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit,… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
It's amazing to me that one of the world's most feared diseases would be carried by one of the world's smallest animals:… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you come out you're all covered with leeches. Just… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I didn't have all the expectations and the publicity. It probably made me work harder and learn more. It was a blessing… — Dustin Penner Copy Share Image
Marta said I don't seem to like to read fiction very much. "I guess you're not an 'afictionado'," she said. Poor Marta.… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Not lifting weights doesn't kill me. Therefore not lifting weights makes me stronger. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Nor is it of much Importance to us to know the Manner in which Nature executes her laws; 'tis enough to know… — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
If I was a cowboy in a lynch mob, I think I'd try to stay near the back. That way, if somebody… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I like people who I can occasionally have really deep conversations with, and at the same time joke around with them. — Ritu Copy Share Image
Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
The sound of fresh rain run-off splashing from the roof reminded me of the sound of urine splashing into a filthy Texaco… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Just as there is no such thing as a collective or racial mind, so there is no such thing as a collective… — Ayn Rand Copy Share Image
I guess more bad things have been done in the name of progress than any other. I myself have been guilty of… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
When Coleridge tried to define beauty, he returned always to one deep thought; beauty, he said, is unity in variety! Science is… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You cannot receive what you don't give. Outflow determines inflow. Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you already have,… — Eckhart Tolle Copy Share Image
If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out and said, "Congratulations, it's a girl," I think… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Never look for a good face, it will turn old one day. Never look for a good skin, it will wrinkle one… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“He’s fighting a grin. ‘I am confident, because you said yes. Or was it…’ He looks up to the ceiling in deep… — Jodi Ellen Malpas Copy Share Image
Caste is a state of mind. It is a disease of mind. The teachings of the Hindu religion are the root cause… — B. R. Ambedkar Copy Share Image
Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Right now, and in every now-moment, you are either closing or opening. You are either stressfully waiting for something - more money,… — David Deida Copy Share Image
