I never lack material for my humor column when Congress is in session. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
We all joke about Congress but we can't improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
That's what a Congressman or a Senator is for -- to see that too much money don't accumulate in the national Treasury. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
“About all I can say about the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.” — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
This session of Congress is also to relieve the farmer again, relieve him of any encouragement that he might have received during… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
A president just can't make much showing against congress. They lay awake nights, thinking up things to be against the president on. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
This stuff they are talking here in Congress costs the people of the United States $44 a page. That's beside what it… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
A senator got up today in Congress and called his fellow senators sons of wild jackasses. Now, if you think the senators… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Congress meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: Oh Lord, give us strength to bear that which is about to be inflicted… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Labor Day, I suppose set by an Act of Congress. Everything we do nowadays is either by, or against, Acts of Congress.… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
We cuss Congress, and we joke about 'em, but they are all good fellows at heart, and if they wasn't in Congress,… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Lobbyists have more offices in Washington than the President. You see, the President only tells Congress what they should do. Lobbyists tell'em… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
All one has to do to get one's stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
It sure did kick up some excitement in the Senate when one Senator called the other Senators 'sons of Wild jackasses.' Well,… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Our president delivered his State of the Union message to Congress. That is one of the things his contract calls for --… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
You see, in Washington they have these bodies, Senate and the House of Representatives. That is for the convenience of the visitors.… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers' mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Borrowing money on what's called 'easy terms,' is a one-way ticket to the Poor House. If you think it ain't a Sucker… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury! — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
When I make a joke, nobody gets injured... when Congress makes a joke, it's the law. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Congress knew Coolidge would veto the farm bill. There was more politics than relief in that bill. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Congress is going to start tinkering with the Ten Commandments just as soon as they find someone in Washington who has read… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
And kid Congress and the Senate, dont scold em. They are just children thats never grown up. They dont like to be… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
A foreigner coming here and reading the Congressional Record would say that the President of the United States was elected solely for… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR Course. — Will Rogers Copy Share
The Democrats and the Republicans are equally corrupt where money is concerned. It's only in the amount where the Republicans excel. — Will Rogers Copy Share
Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week. — Will Rogers Copy Share
American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off. — Will Rogers Copy Share
There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is… — Will Rogers Copy Share
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. — Will Rogers Copy Share
I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack… — Will Rogers Copy Share
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. — Will Rogers Copy Share
Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of… — Will Rogers Copy Share
