Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Our Congresses consist of Christians. In their private life they are true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Suppose . . . burglars had made entry into this . . . [library]. Picture them seated here on this floor, pouring… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
![“Suppose . . . burglars had made entry into this . . . [library]. Picture them seated here on this floor, pouring the light of their dark-lanterns over some books they found, and thus absorbing moral truths and getting moral uplift. The whole course of their lives would have been changed. As it…” quote by Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/917/mark-twain-22_absorbing_suppose-burglars-had-made-entry-into-thi_281932.jpg)
