Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
The ideal Christmas gift is money, but the trouble is you can't charge it. — Bill Vaughan Copy Share Image
Can I keep you forever? You are the Christmas present that I never want to lose. Merry Christmas my beloved. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday'… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
My Christmas present to myself each year is to see how much air travel can open up the world and take me… — Pico Iyer Copy Share Image
I am the worst at keeping secrets. I am the kind of person that the second I buy someone a Christmas present,… — Jessica Chastain Copy Share Image
I absolutely adore Agatha Christie; so much so that when I received a kitten for my Christmas present, I called her Agatha,… — Kimberley Nixon Copy Share Image
Come in, -- come in! and know me better, man! I am the Ghost of Christmas Present. Look upon me! You have… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Pretending to believe in the Mayan apocalypse prophecy is a great way to get out of buying Christmas presents. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“A better business model (that expands your autonomy and availability) is the best Christmas present you can gift your family this year.” — Richie Norton Copy Share Image
I used to have nightmares when I was a little kid that I woke up prematurely and opened all the Christmas presents.… — Claire Danes Copy Share Image
My mother, she had a very good attitude toward money. I'm very grateful for the fact that we had to learn to… — Gemma Arterton Copy Share Image
The coolest Christmas present I've ever received is probably socks. My grandma always gets me socks - every year - and that's… — Luke Combs Copy Share Image
A friend gave me a CD of the 'Pathetique' Symphony as a Christmas present. I went home, and I put on the… — Gustavo Dudamel Copy Share Image
Glen had a disability more disfiguring than a burn and more terrifying than cancer. Glen had been born on the day after… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Hot damn! Hunter was finally paying off with the hot guy friends. I knew this day would come, it was inevitable, but… — Genna Rulon Copy Share Image
“I was seriously considering giving both Ellie and Braden a lump of coal for their Christmas present this year as a thank-you… — Samantha Young Copy Share Image
The Christmas presents once opened are Not So Much Fun as they were while we were in the process of examining, lifting,… — Benjamin Hoff Copy Share Image
We have a host of English teachers in the family. My mum is an English teacher, and so are my dad, my… — Alexandra Adornetto Copy Share Image
I hear that in many places something has happened to Christmas; that it is changing from a time of merriment and carefree… — Julia Peterkin Copy Share Image
“You can all supply your own favorite, most nauseating examples of the commodification of love. Mine include the wedding industry, TV ads… — Jonathan Franzen Copy Share Image
“Me: Did you get your tree yet? Ken: I'm a Jew, I don't decorate Christmas trees. Me: So you're going to go… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“The only problem with sharing a room with her sisters, Jessie decided, was that she couldn’t wrap their Christmas presents in there.… — Kate Willis Copy Share Image
“We love Christmas presents but not Christ; Easter baskets but not crosses. We want to tell our friends with cancer that we… — Heather Choate Davis Copy Share Image
Wrapping Christmas presents is tough. Even peeling a Mandarin orange is tough. I have to get my kids to help me. — Brendan Morrison Copy Share Image
Chum was a British boy's weekly which, at the end of the year was bound into a single huge book; and the… — A. E. van Vogt Copy Share Image
If you don't make Christmas presents, meaning making something that's so emotionally connected to people, don't talk to me. — Kanye West Copy Share Image
My grandfather built a basketball court for me when I was 3 years old as a Christmas present, and I would go… — Baron Davis Copy Share Image
I owe my life to my father. I remember that my first Christmas present was a ball. In the district where we… — Sergio Aguero Copy Share Image
You can never truly enjoy Christmas until you can look up into the Father's face and tell him you have received his… — John R. Rice Copy Share Image
“Callum’s basement had always been off-limits to me, and I wasn’t dumb enough to believe the restriction was in place because that… — Jennifer Lynn Barnes Copy Share Image
Our children await Christmas presents like politicians getting in election returns: there's the Uncle Fred precinct and the Aunt Ruth district still… — Marcelene Cox Copy Share Image
“Creed looks like Santa barfed Christmas presents in his lap (excited and disturbed all at the same time, natch).” — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
“As his life steadily unraveled, he pawned his gold watch and chain for $20 on December 23, 1857, to purchase Christmas presents… — Ron Chernow Copy Share Image
The magi, as you know, were wise men wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented… — O. Henry Copy Share Image
Grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know what, sometimes Ill walk my dogs and full bags full of massive dog s**t. Then Ill wrap them as Christmas… — Kesha Copy Share Image
One Christmas I had no money, and so I went home and just, like, wrote a poem; I mean, I didn't write… — June Diane Raphael Copy Share Image
