Funny SMS / Text Messages

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10 marks in an exam

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Question: "How to kill an ant?"

Asked in an exam for 10 marks!

Student:
Mix chilli powder with sugar,
&
Keep it outside the ant's hole

After eating,
ant will search for some water near a water tank.
Push ant in to it!
Now ant will go to dry itself near fire,
When it reaches fire, put a bomb into d fire!
Then admit wounded ant in icu!
And then
remove oxygen mask from it's mouth and kill the ant :-|

Moral:
Don't play with students!
They can do any thing for 10 marks

How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (90 votes, average: 3.84 out of 5)
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In a Mental Hospital a journalist asked the Doctor:
How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?

Dr: Well, we first fill a BathTub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub....

Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use d bucket bcoz its bigger....

Dr: NO, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Now will u plz proceed to bed no.39 ;-)

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (38 votes, average: 3.89 out of 5)
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A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"Hey vaheguru meri lottery lagady."

After 11 years VaheGuru angrily appeared
& said,"Khoti de putar 1 vari ticket te le ley"

Roses r red .. violts r blue

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (81 votes, average: 4.05 out of 5)
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Roses r red,
violets r blue,
monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Dont get angry,
you will find me there too,
not in the cage but laughing at you.
:D

Silent message for all students

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (114 votes, average: 4.22 out of 5)
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A ThermoMeter is n0t the 0nly thing
that gets a "DEGREE" without having a "BRAIN"...! :p

A silent msg f0r all studnts;-)

This is my head.....

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (30 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5)
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This is my head ....

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Itni dair dabanay k liyay thanks.
I am feeling much better now:-)

Don't copy if u can't paste! :p

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (178 votes, average: 3.49 out of 5)
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A famous inspirational speaker said:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
Audience was in shock and silence..
He added: "she was my mother"
A big round of applause & laughter!

A very daring husbnd tried to crack this at home
After a dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker

by the time he gained his senses,
he was on a hospital bed,
recovering from burns of boiling water!

Moral: don't copy if u can't paste!

Why student fails ?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (227 votes, average: 4.23 out of 5)
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WHY STUDENT FAIL
Sundays-52 in a year,Days left 313
Summer holidays 50,Days left 263
8 hrs daily sleep-130 days GONe, Days left 141
1 hr daily playing means 15 days,Days left 126
2 hrs daily for eating means 30 days.Days left 96,
1 hr talking means 15 days.,Days left 81
Exams days 35 days,Days left 46
Eid & Gov holidays 20, Days left 26
Movies,TV at least 25 days,Days left 1
That 1 day is your BIRTHDAY.
Hun banda SALGIRHA waly din bhi parhy?

Who is dear & near friend...

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Whos hot... Its U,
Whos
Charming... Its U,
Whos
Sweetest.. Its U,
Whos
Intelligent... Its U,
Whos dear & near friend... Its U
Whos a liar.. Its me

Diff B/W Commerce & Science Questions:

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (114 votes, average: 4.04 out of 5)
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Diff B/W Commerce & Science Questions:
Commerce :
What Is Ur Name?
(10 Mrks)

Science:
What Is Ur Name & Its Origin?
Give Relations &Applied Aspects Along With It'S Logical Significance.
Also Explain With The Help Of Graph.
It'S Upper & Lower Limits.(1+1+1=3 Marks)

Banda Fail Nae Hoga To Kya Top Krega? =P =D

Girl fully exhausted

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (359 votes, average: 3.30 out of 5)
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A young girl after her honeymoon
came fully exhausted and tired,

When her friends asked her what happened?

She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

"I thought It was MONEY"