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Children Quote by Thomas Bernhard

“We always wonder, when we see two people together, particularly when they're actually married, how these two people could have arrived at such a decision, such an act, so we tell ourselves that it's a matter of human nature, that it's very often a case of two people going together, getting…” quote by Thomas Bernhard
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““We always wonder, when we see two people together, particularly when they're actually married, how these two people could have arrived at such a decision, such an act, so we tell ourselves that it's a matter of human nature, that it's very often a case of two people going together, getting together, only in order to kill themselves in time, sooner or later to kill themselves, after mutually tormenting each other for years for for decades, only to end up killing themselves anyway , people who get together even though they probably clearly perceive their future of shared torment, who join together, get married, in the teeth of all reason, who against all reason commit the natural crime of bringing children into the world who then proceed to be the unhappiest imaginable people, we have evidence of this situation wherever we look... People who get together and marry even though they can foresee their future together only as a lifelong shared martyrdom, suddenly all these people qua human beings, human beings qua ordinary people... enter into a union, into a marriage, into their annihilation, step by step down they go into the most horrible situation imaginable, annihilation by marriage, meaning annihilation mental, emotional, and physical, as we can see all around us, the whole world is full of instances confirming this... why, I may well ask myself, this senseless sealing of the bargain, we wonder about it because we have an instance of it before us, how did this instance come to be?””

Thomas Bernhard

About This Quote

Source Play: “Der Theatermacher” (The Theater Director) by Thomas Bernhard, 1975

Marriage is portrayed as a collective self‑destruction, where partners willingly enter a painful, endless cycle despite foreseeing misery.

In simple terms: People marry even when they expect a life of shared suffering.

Key Takeaway

Question the assumptions that drive you into harmful relationships.

Themes

marriage despair human nature existentialism family

Mood

cynical melancholic critical

Type

literary philosophical

When to use this quote

  • long‑term relationships
  • family planning
  • marital counseling
  • social expectations

Key Concepts

philosophy psychology social critique

Questions to Reflect On

  • What makes people stay in painful relationships?
  • Can marriage be a source of meaning despite hardship?
A Different Perspective

The view is overly deterministic, ignoring love, companionship, and personal growth that can arise from partnership.

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