Money Quote by Stephen Wright

My friend has a baby, I am recording all the noises he makes so I can later ask him what he meant.

— Stephen Wright

“The subterranean lair of the wily human relationship: a dark maze of pop-up demons, fun house mirrors, spooky dead ends, multiple false bottoms.”

— Stephen Wright

I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two…

— Stephen Wright

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.

— Stephen Wright

“A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, "How…

— Stephen Wright

“Outside the windows, the land was as flat, as interesting, as the head of an anvil, and the shadows of the corn advanced like…

— Stephen Wright

Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing…

— Stephen Wright

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, Hey, maybe I…

— Stephen Wright

“Families were bunk, temporary and uneasy alliances of strangers who would hate each other less without the coercion of blood, the spiraling bonds of…

— Stephen Wright

I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day 'cause that means it's gonna be up all night.

— Stephen Wright

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the…

— Stephen Wright

Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far that you almost fall over backwards, but at the…

— Stephen Wright