Identity Quote by Sheldon B. Kopp
““This wish to satisfy someone greater than the Self, to be found acceptable, to belong at last, is a struggle familiar to many psychotherapy patients. In their lives they waste themselves on wondering how they are doing, on trying to figure out the expectations of others so that they can become someone in the eyes of others. They try to be practical, to be reasonable, to figure it all out in their heads. It is as though if only they could get the words straight in their heads, if only they could find the correct formula, then everything else in their lives would be magically straightened out. They are sure there is a right way to do things, though they have not yet found it. Someone in authority must know...It is as thought if it were discovered that two and two really did not equal four (but five), then at that moment all over the world every machine would stop operating, all of the lights would go out. (110)””
About This Quote
Source Book: Psychotherapy and the Self, 1995
People often chase external approval, believing a perfect formula will fix their lives, but this creates endless self‑scrutiny and anxiety.
In simple terms: Seeking others' approval leads to endless self‑doubt.
Key Takeaway
Stop chasing a perfect formula; focus on authentic self‑acceptance.
Themes
self‑acceptance
approval seeking
therapy
self‑criticism
Mood
reflective
anxious
Type
philosophical
psychological
When to use this quote
- counseling sessions
- personal journaling
- mindfulness practice
- setting boundaries
Key Concepts
existential anxiety
identity formation
cognitive distortion
Questions to Reflect On
- What would change if you stopped measuring yourself against others?
- How can you define success on your own terms?
A Different Perspective
The idea of a single “right way” oversimplifies complex human experience.
![“In the worldly life, due to maadakta (intoxication of the ego of ‘I am Chandubhai’), one has completely lost awareness of everything about one’s self. Everything in the worldly life is nothing but intoxication. The food is intoxicating, the senses are intoxicating. [Therefore] Go to the one, who…” quote by Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/2b3/dada-bhagwan-31_absolute_in-the-worldly-life-due-to-maadakta-into_3662.jpg)
