Actually Quote by Seth MacFarlane

My mother told me I said to her, at age three, 'I'm going to go to Italy and get my father in a tractor.'…

— Roger Waters

In our house, my mum was the funny one.

— Lenny Henry

I remember trying to be funny, and both of my parents were terribly funny. My father was also very dignified, but my mother was…

— Jack Lemmon

“Did you tell my mother that you called me a bitch last night,too?" I asked him. "Because that's the best way I know to…

— Jennifer Echols

“You nasty, you nasty. You mama said you nasty!”

— Victoria Scott

That awkward moment your dad/stepdad says one word and your mom thinks its something totally perverted and says what she thought he said!

— K Noland

I remember being two, maybe, and hearing my mum's typewriter in the other room and sticking my hands under the door and screaming, 'Mum!…

— Zoe Kazan

She unwrapped the blanket when she came in my door. You were inside it. She set you down on the floor and you started…

— Cassandra Clare

My mother only ever said two things. She said,'I don't know, dear.'And she said,'Can I get you a sandwich, honey?

— Bill Bryson

“When your mom was not in labor yelling at me, she made me laugh so hard.”

— Jim Gaffigan

My mum said to me once years ago, which really spurred me on, 'You're the funniest person I know'. I loved that.

— Miranda Hart

“I'm going to tell Mom and Dad, you know?" "No, you're not." God, I couldn't stop laughing. When my sister thought about it for…

— Stephen Chbosky