Baptists Quote by Neil Simon Download Open image “Baptists are only funny underwater.” — Neil Simon ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.9 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare Baptists Underwater
I’d heard about the Baptists from Jacob Henry’s mother. According to her, Baptists were a strange lot. They put you in water to see… — Robert Newton Peck Copy Share Image
The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a… — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share Image
“The trouble with Texas Baptists is that we do not hold them under water long enough.” — William Brann Copy Share Image
Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing. — Lewis Grizzard Copy Share Image
A religion that cannot stand a little laughter must be a very rotten one. — Charles Spurgeon Copy Share Image
Of all persecuted sects, the Baptists stand forth as most prominent, simply and only because they aim at a more complete and thorough reform… — John Quincy Adams Copy Share Image
I started writing 'Southern Baptist Sissies' right after I had written the screenplay for 'Sordid Lives', so that's when I started on a darker… — Del Shores Copy Share Image
The church is like Noah's ark. It stinks, but if you get out of it, you'll drown. — Shane Claiborne Copy Share Image
Talent is the gift plus the passion - a desire to succeed so intense that no force on earth can stop it. — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
You get attached to the way you write, and I'm attached to notebooks. That's where I really write the plays. Just two or three… — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling. — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
“Never have so many given so much for so long for so little for so few for so seldom.” — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
Don't listen to those who say, you taking too big a chance. Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be… — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all… — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending. — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
Evan Handler's new book is simply wonderful. He pulls you inside his life, and you come out his very close friend. — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement...Of course, He could have built it to last longer but you can't have everything. — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
I don't like dating or just living with a woman. I like to create a relationship, a marriage. And almost all of my marriages… — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
I was overcome by the Holy Ghost one time, but in a Baptist way. I was six or seven, and I was saved. I… — Beth Ditto Copy Share Image
I grew up in a Southern Baptist-style church with a choir, a band, and music, but I've been asking myself my whole life, 'Why… — Roger Ross Williams Copy Share Image
My family is Jewish, Buddhist, Baptist and Catholic. I don't believe in man-made religions. — Whoopi Goldberg Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart contributes more to our civility than the Baptist Church. — Dave Hickey Copy Share Image
If my ruling disposition is self-interest, I perceive that everything that happens to me is always for or against my self-interest; if, on the… — Oswald Chambers Copy Share Image
Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I grew up in that minority. I grew up in the South, in Roswell, Georgia, and it was heavily white, Baptist, conservative. And the… — David Cross Copy Share Image
John the Baptist never performed any miracles. Yet, he was greater than any of the Old Testament prophets. — Leonard Ravenhill Copy Share Image
He's a Catholic, a Hindy, an atheist, a Chein, a Buddhist, a Baptist and a Jew, and he knows, he shouldn't kill. — Buffy Sainte-Marie Copy Share Image
The biological evolutionary perception of life and of human qualities is radically different from that of traditional religion, whether it's Southern Baptist or Islam… — E. O. Wilson Copy Share Image
I was baptized a Baptist, but I'm just Christian, as far as I'm concerned. I could go in any church, doesn't matter if it's… — Queen Latifah Copy Share Image
When Jesus stepped into the waters of the Jordan and was baptized by John the Baptist, he did so not because he was in… — Pope Francis Copy Share Image
