Child Quote by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
““Words control the impulses; without them children have no protective devices to slow their reactions. Frequently I am asked, “Aren’t you just begging for a blowup when you talk about intensity with kids? Aren’t you feeding them ideas or creating words for feelings that don’t really exist?” My experience, observations, and interviews tell me that spirited children feel intensely whether anyone has talked to them about it or not. Ignoring it does not make it go away. Ask children what is happening inside their bodies, and they will tell you that they can feel their blood buzzing in their veins or hornets zipping through their body. If no one has informed them that other people experience these feelings or if no one has helped them by giving names to these feelings—like anxiety, frustration, excitement, and elation—they become frightened by them. Some worry that they are sick. Some feel odd, others lost and overwhelmed. Talking verifies the sensations and emotions. It gives them legitimacy and allows the child to own them without being frightened. It also helps kids to know what to do with them, how to react, and how to manage their intensity. Most””
About This Quote
Source Book: Parenting with Emotional Intelligence, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, 2010
Children need language to label and manage intense feelings; naming emotions provides safety and regulation.
In simple terms: Naming feelings helps kids handle strong emotions.
Key Takeaway
Teach kids emotion vocabulary.
Themes
emotional development
parenting
psychology
Mood
empathetic
educational
Type
advice
psychological
When to use this quote
- classroom discussions
- family conversations
- therapy sessions
- school curricula
Key Concepts
emotional literacy
self-regulation
developmental psychology
Questions to Reflect On
- How can we introduce emotion words without pathologizing?
- What strategies help children accept their feelings?
A Different Perspective
Children may resist labeling feelings, seeing it as over‑analysis.
