Ask for help Quote by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
““INTENSITY A Summary Intensity is the driving force behind the strong reactions of the spirited child. It is the invisible punch that makes every response of the spirited child immediate and strong. Managed well, intensity allows spirited children a depth and delight of emotion rarely experienced by others. Its potential to create as well as wreak havoc, however, makes it one of the most challenging temperamental traits to learn to manage. Intense spirited kids need to hear: You do everything with zest, vim, vigor, and gusto. You are enthusiastic, expressive, and full of energy. Your intensity can make you a great athlete, leader, performer, etc. Things can frustrate you easily. Being intense does not mean being aggressive. Teaching tips: Help your child learn to notice her growing intensity before it overwhelms her. Provide activities that soothe and calm, such as warm baths, stories, and quiet imaginative play. Use humor to diffuse intense reactions. Protect her sleep. Make time for exercise. Teach your child that time-out is a way to calm herself. If you are intense too: Do not fear your child’s intensity. Diffuse your own intensity before you step in to help your child. Take deep breaths, step away from the situation, get the sleep you need, or ask for help to cope with your own intensity. Review in your own mind the messages you were given about intensity. Dump those that negate the value of intensity or leave you feeling powerless.””
About This Quote
Source Book: The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson, 2011
Intensity is a powerful temperamental trait that fuels quick, strong reactions in spirited children; when recognized and guided, it can become a source of enthusiasm, achievement, and emotional depth.
In simple terms: Intensity drives strong reactions; can be positive if managed.
Guide children to recognize and channel intensity positively.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- parent‑child interactions
- school settings
- sports coaching
- performing arts
- family routines
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you help a child notice rising intensity before it erupts?
- What calming activities work best for your family?
Intensity can overwhelm if not balanced with calming strategies.