Asking Quote by Marshall B. Rosenberg
“Two questions help us see why we are unlikely to get what we want by using punishment... The first question is: What do I want this person to do that's different from what he or she is currently doing? If we ask only this first question, punishment may seem effective because the threat or exercise of punitive force may well influence the person's behavior. However, with the second question, it becomes evident that punishment isn't likely to work: What do I want this person's reasons to be for doing what I'm asking?”
About This Quote
Source Book: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg, 2003
Punishment fails because it ignores the underlying motivations and desired outcomes of the person being punished.
In simple terms: Punishment ignores why someone does something.
Key Takeaway
Focus on desired behavior and underlying reasons.
Themes
communication
motivation
behavior change
Mood
thoughtful
analytical
Type
advice
philosophical
When to use this quote
- parenting
- education
- workplace management
- conflict resolution
Key Concepts
psychology
needs
empathy
Questions to Reflect On
- What outcome do you truly want?
- How can you address the person's needs?
A Different Perspective
Punishment may produce compliance but not genuine change.
![“Quentin [Taranino] will say, "We've got it, but we're gonna do it one more time. Why?" And then, the entire cast and crew chimes in and says, "Because we love making movies!" He is a person who celebrates this form of expression, and it is evident in his movies, his conversations, his extensive…” quote by Walton Goggins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/e7c/walton-goggins-13029_actors_quentin-taranino-will-say-we-ve-got-it-b_59033.jpg)
