Birth Quote by Lisa Lampanelli

“Mr. Trump, I really can't comment, because he was my boss on 'Celebrity Apprentice,' and I just don't think we should let him be president until he produces evidence that the thing on his head is real. Because he wanted to see Obama's birth certificate, we should ask for a certificate of real hair.” quote by Lisa Lampanelli — Download Open image

“Mr. Trump, I really can't comment, because he was my boss on 'Celebrity Apprentice,' and I just don't think we should let him be president until he produces evidence that the thing on his head is real. Because he wanted to see Obama's birth certificate, we should ask for a certificate of real hair.”

Lisa Lampanelli

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It used to be that in media, Johnny Carson used to be the most important person when he would invite you over to sit…

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I'm not looking for 'outer esteem' anymore, what they call 'other esteem.' I'm looking for self-esteem. And people think that self-esteem is built with…

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This thing happened where I noticed anytime I got together with four friends or more, the conversation goes to food.

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Insult comedy has been around forever. I can make fun of people, and they won't get mad at me.

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I've played every comedy club and every theatre across the country for the last 25 years and seen a lot of audience members from…

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I lost over 100 pounds, so I'm even angrier than ever. I don't stuff my feelings anymore with food. Skinny girls are funny.

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I would make a few jabs at myself and go for the audience - they are still as flawed as ever.

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Until I got the weight off, there was something inside of me that said, 'You hate yourself.' You get too depressed over the weight…

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What you bring to the stage is what you are in real life... people sense that.

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The more conservative you dress, the more you can get away with.

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Crazy diets, good diets, you can't name one I didn't do.

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I have a shrink in New York and a shrink in Arizona, just in case. You never know when you will have a breakdown.

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Explore all 98 Lisa Lampanelli quotes

More Birth quotes

“Conception is the beginning of human life. From the time that an ovum is fertilized a new life begins that is neither that of…

Declaration on Procured Abortion Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith 1974

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In the entire history of the universe, let alone in your own history, there has never been another day just like today, and there will never be another just like it again. Today is the point to which all your yesterdays have been leading since the hour of your birth. It is the point from which all your tomorrows will…

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The greatest mystery in life is not life itself, but death. Death is the culmination of life, the ultimate blossoming of life. In death…

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Guns have little or nothing to do with juvenile violence. The causes of youth violence are working parents who put their kids into daycare,…

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“Every child is born as angel.”

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Nirvana is a word that means enlightenment, being beyond the illusion of birth and death, the illusion of pain, the illusion of love, the…

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It was no accident, no coincidence, that the seasons came round and round year after year. It was the Lord speaking to us all and showing us over and over again the birth, life, death, and resurrection of his only begotten Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ, our Lord. It was like a best-loved story being told day after day with…

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