Beer Quote by Kris Kristofferson

Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work.

— Jeff Lindsay

Then I walked across the street, And caught the Sunday smell of someone's fryin' chicken, And it took me back to somethin', that I'd…

— Johnny Cash

I swept the shelves of merchandise, mopped the floors with savings. Then plowed through the bitch who tried to cut me in line. I…

— Anonymous

I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this…

— Judith Viorst

Smoked a bong, killed a cat, had my nuts attacked by rats. Dad got nude, I wore a thong, for a hobby I make…

— Blink 182

Cleaning your room & finding things you didn't even know you had.

— Ramandeep Singh

I needed a vacation. I needed 5 women. I needed to get the wax out of my ears. My car needed an oil change.…

— Charles Bukowski

The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the…

— Jon Stewart

Alcohol whipped me. Alcohol and I had many, many marvelous times together. We laughed, we talked, we danced at the party together; then one…

— Harry Crews

I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up…

— Rodney Dangerfield

Wrapped in a police blanket, I watched the rain and smoked one black cigarette after another...

— Anonymous

I added to my mental list of the odd things I'd done that day. I'd entertained the police, sunbathed, visited at a mall with…

— Charlaine Harris