Quote by Jonathan L. Howard

“The only more immediate alternative that I can think of is a Tantric ritual involving necrophiliac sodomy and, frankly, I don’t think my back…

— Jonathan L. Howard

“You know what? Forget the warning. Read the book. Go insane. See if I care.”

— Jonathan L. Howard

“I had wanted some cheese, but couldn't find any at short notice. It was a shame. Cheese goes so well with tragedy.”

— Jonathan L. Howard

“All this bunch of so-called 'adults' was doing was making enemies of one another when what they really needed to be concentrating on was…

— Jonathan L. Howard

“Cats, as any rational person knows, are solitary, opportunistic, ambush predators, much like spiders, but with fewer legs and a better fan club.”

— Jonathan L. Howard

“The sergeant was just noting that she was a very handsome woman, from somewhere in the eastern Mediterranean he would guess, when his eyes…

— Jonathan L. Howard

“They served to remind Cabal - should a reminder ever be necessary - why his social skills were so poor: people were loathsome and…

— Jonathan L. Howard

“Well, if I ever suffer brain damage I know there's always a career waiting for me in local politics.”

— Jonathan L. Howard

“He smiled with all the warmth of a dollhouse oven.”

— Jonathan L. Howard

“A census taker once tried to test me. I let my front garden eat him.”

— Jonathan L. Howard

“Zombies are so passe”

— Jonathan L. Howard

“According to his upbringing, there were certain subjects that it was ill-mannered to raise in conversation with a new acquaintance. With the likes of…

— Jonathan L. Howard