“I've just got back from Oklahoma where I was shooting Mat Hoffman's tribute to Evel Knievel. I had a ball, too, even though I almost lost my own balls in the process...let's just say before I did a back-flip on a motorcycle I should have learned how to ride one first. I have to go now. I have to empty the puss bag on my leg that I have to wear for the next two weeks until my torn urethra heals.”