"I tried the low-carb bread. Have you tried……" — John Pinette

"I tried the low-carb bread. Have you tried it? It's horrible. I tasted it. I thought the wrapper was still on. It's not like it went bad, it never went good. They have 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter,' they should call it, 'This Ain't Bread.' 'Cause it looks like bread, but it has no other properties of bread. I said, 'You know what? I'll butter it. That'll make it better.' Butter won't go on it. It slides right off. The butter's like, 'Where are you putting me?' Jam and jelly beads up and fall off it. Did they Scotch-guard this at the factory? You know what I'll do? It's okay, I'll toast it. I'll make a sandwich, I'll toast it. It's better when you toast it. It doesn't toast. You can't toast it. I'm out in the garage with a blow torch. It's absorbing the heat like a space shuttle tile."

— John Pinette

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11 Quotes by John Pinette

John Pinette has 11 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

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More Absorbing Quotes

This quote is filed under Absorbing Quotes, one of 143 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

Working hours are never long enough. Each day is a holiday, and ordinary holidays are grudged as enforced interruptions in… — Winston Churchill
The fact remains that the overwhelming majority of people who have become wealthy have become so thanks to work they… — Srully Blotnick
A population weakened and exhausted by battling against so many obstacles - whose needs are never satisfied and desires never… — Ryszard Kapuscinski
Other duties become pressing and absorbing and crowd our prayer. "Choked to death" would be the coroner's verdict in many… — Edward McKendree Bounds
Out of the Indian approach to life there came a great freedom, an intense and absorbing respect for life, enriching… — Black Elk
When you've always worked hard in the theater, you find that when you stop playing at the end of a… — Rex Harrison
In anything fit to be called by the name of reading, the process itself should be absorbing and voluptuous; we… — Robert Louis Stevenson
At birth, the child leaves a person - his mother's womb - and this makes him independent of her bodily… — Maria Montessori
I remember the days of my youth when everything was new and bright; when the mind was always questing, searching,… — Jennifer Worth
Life without absorbing occupation is hell; joy consists in forgetting life. — Elbert Hubbard
The historic role of the consumer has been nothing more than a giant maw at the end of the mass… — Clay Shirky
I have learned that in a long life we all eventually play the part of the betrayed, and we all… — Robert Wagner

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