"According to current Florida law you can get……" — John Oliver
"According to current Florida law you can get a gun, follow an unarmed minor, call the police, have them explicitly tell you to stop following [the minor] and choose to ignore that, keep following the minor, get into a confrontation with them, and if at any point during that process you get scared you can shoot the minor to death, and the state of Florida will say, 'Well, look: you did what you could.'"
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John Oliver
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98 Quotes by John Oliver
John Oliver has 98 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most…
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Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
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Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News, and she only left five months ago. She has now effectively…
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Mr. President, no one is saying you broke any laws, we're just saying it's a little bit weird you didn't…
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
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News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.
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Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a…
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which…
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If you’ve been here, in New York, it has been dominated by the UN General Assembly, the annual event where…
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You know that things are not going well when you lose the moral high ground to a TMZ reporter,
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One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
See all 98 quotes by John Oliver »
More According Quotes
This quote is filed under According Quotes,
one of 1,971 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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People usually think according to their inclinations, speak according to their learning and ingrained opinions, but generally act according to…
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A Truth is the subjective development of that which is at once both new and universal. New: that which is…
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According to God's word, everybody at some point is going to be given the opportunity to know the truth.
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I'm very focused on the world and my career and my Porsche turbo and making money and Stevie B. Inc.…
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Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never…
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Liberty, according to my metaphysics is a self-determining power in an intellectual agent. It implies thought and choice and power.
— John Adams
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According to some Eastern religion, there is a belt that goes across the world, and I've heard that Minnesota is…
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According to Teenage Research Unlimited, 51 percent of 13-15 year olds say they will be faced with making a decision…
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The position that I take partly as a result of living in Asia is where you stop living according to…
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You can plan events, but if they go according to your plan they are not events.
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He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has.
— Henry Ward Beecher
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Racism is an ism to which everyone in the world today is exposed; for or against, we must take sides.…
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