Quote by John Green

“I went to the doctor," said the woman next to Ethel. "I said to him, 'I've got an itchy twat.'" [...] She went on:…

— Ken Follett

“The colonel dwelt in a vortex of specialists who were still specializing in trying to determine what was troubling him. They hurled lights in…

— Joseph Heller

“There’s nothing wrong with my medical skills.” Ridge groped his way over to Apex. “Aren’t you the one who offered to staple General Paltimer’s…

— Lindsay Buroker

“I felt a queasy mixture of relief and horror: when you finally stop an itch and realize it’s because you’ve ripped a hole in…

— Gillian Flynn

My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.

— Rodney Dangerfield

“What a doctor I’ve got—he’s really mixed up. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then he hit me in…

— Rodney Dangerfield

(Britney Spears) went in for knee surgery and came out a little top heavy.

— Robbie Williams

“The end of the world had taught Rachel Wheeler many lessons, but the most recent one was this: Running for your life was a…

— Scott Nicholson

“herp-e-tologist.”

— Katie French

“Hey what?' Tyson said. 'Why? What do you need a gurney for?' 'Standard procedure,' the EMT said. 'What do you mean, standard procedure?' Tyson…

— Lauren Myracle

“Suddenly I have the first knee problems of my life: they turn to rubber.”

— Miranda Kenneally

“Oh, sweet peaches and cream, this hurts.” “Child, what have you done to your foot?” Beth glanced down to see blood dripping from the…

— Terri Osburn