"Russell Brand has announced that he plans to……" — Joan Rivers
"Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'"
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Joan Rivers
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245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
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I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
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We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
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Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
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A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Announced Quotes
This quote is filed under Announced Quotes,
one of 212 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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If some great catastrophe is not announced every morning, we feel a certain void. Nothing in the paper today, we…
— Lord Acton
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What the president announced yesterday, is that somehow magically, if we just continue to prime the pump of taxpayer dollars,…
— Eric Cantor
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When I was president, I announced and I still maintain that I can live with Roe v. Wade. I did…
— Jimmy Carter
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One thing that's really interesting is not only the magnitude of the recent immigration into this country, but also its…
— Unknown Author
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If some good evidence for life after death were announced, I'd be eager to examine it; but it would have…
— Carl Sagan
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The rhythm of the weekend, with its birth, its planned gaiety, and its announced end, followed the rhythm of life…
— F. Scott Fitzgerald
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And whereas it is the duty of nations as well as of men, to own their dependence upon the overruling…
— Abraham Lincoln
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Recognize in this bread what hung on the cross, and in this chalice what flowed from His side... whatever was…
— Saint Augustine
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Very few of us can now place ourselves in the mental condition in which even such philosophers as the great…
— James Clerk Maxwell
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The saints must be honored as friends of Christ and children and heirs of God. Let us carefully observe the…
— John of Damascus
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Because of this basin of repentance and knowledge of God, which has been ordained for the transgression of God's people,…
— Justin Martyr
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If somebody had started on a remake of French Kiss before I announced my own film, I would have dropped…
— Ajay Devgan
See all 212 Announced Quotes »