Approval of others Quote by Joan Didion
““The dismal fact is that self-respect has nothing to do with the approval of others — who are, after all, deceived easily enough; has nothing to do with reputation, which, as Rhett Butler told Scarlett O’Hara, is something people with courage can do without. To do without self-respect, on the other hand, is to be an unwilling audience of one to an interminable documentary that deals with one’s failings, both real and imagined, with fresh footage spliced in for every screening. There’s the glass you broke in anger, there’s the hurt on X’s face; watch now, this next scene, the night Y came back from Houston, see how you muff this one. To live without self-respect is to lie awake some night, beyond the reach of warm milk, the Phenobarbital, and the sleeping hand on the coverlet, counting up the sins of commissions and omission, the trusts betrayed, the promises subtly broken, the gifts irrevocably wasted through sloth or cowardice, or carelessness. However long we postpone it, we eventually lie down alone in that notoriously uncomfortable bed, the one we make ourselves. Whether or not we sleep in it depends, of course, on whether or not we respect ourselves.””
About This Quote
Source Book: The White Album, Joan Didion, 1979
Self‑respect is independent of others’ approval or reputation; lacking it creates a relentless inner critique that haunts one’s thoughts and actions.
In simple terms: Self‑respect isn’t about others’ views; without it you’re your own harsh critic.
Cultivate self‑respect to silence inner judgment.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- personal reflection
- nighttime anxiety
- self‑assessment
- relationship with self
- overcoming self‑criticism
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- How does self‑respect influence your daily decisions?
- What steps can you take to rebuild self‑respect after a failure?
Self‑respect alone cannot erase past mistakes; it must be paired with forgiveness and concrete change.