Quote by J.C. McClean

““So, I turn on the charm and ask ¿Cuánto cuesta pene? Pretty impressive, right? Wrong. What I should have said was ¿Cuánto cuesta ese peine? So, now you’re probably wondering what I did ask her. Well, when I said that, she threw me this really dirty look and chased me out of the shop. So, I looked it up … I asked her the price of my … let’s just say male anatomy part.””

J.C. McClean

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.7 out of 5 (10 ratings)

More by J.C. McClean

“Ah, shit. She’s been crying. This is not good. I swear to God, a girl crying is fucking blackmail. It just makes you feel…

J.C. McClean

Image

“First off, what the hell kind of name is that? Wow, her parents were pretentious naming their daughter Temperance! What the actual fuck?”

J.C. McClean

Image

“He throws me a wide grin. “Ooh, calmed down then, have we? I must say, your death threats are quite refreshing – they’re a nice little step up from telling me to get my head out of my ass.” I shoot him daggers. “Bite me.” “Wow, I had no idea you were into that shit.” he quips with a wicked…

J.C. McClean

“I eye the karaoke machine in alarm. Shit. I’m going to need a shot. “Let’s do Ssssummer Nightsssss! I jusssst love Greasssse!” Scratch that…

J.C. McClean

Image

“Caleb dumped me on my birthday, Before I’d ordered an entrée, “What a dick!” some might say! But don’t you worry my little sheep, I am not sad and will not weep, For Caleb Jones is a cheat! He two-timed me with some ho, Whose name is Kacey ‘Slut’ Munroe! But I don’t care about my foe, For I have…

J.C. McClean

“How are you feeling Sweet Peach?” he enquires as he walks across to the chest of drawers, selects a pair of socks and pulls them on. Sweet Peach? What the hell? He’s definitely gay … I shrug. “Er … okay, I guess. I really don’t remember much though. How did I get here … and why am I wearing your…

J.C. McClean

“I awake to hear a shower running and quickly stifle a groan. Oh God, my head hurts! How much did I have to drink…

J.C. McClean

Image

“Crap. What do I say? “Hi, I followed you here.” Yeah, that’s not super creepy and stalkerish at all. Nope, time for plan B.”

J.C. McClean

Image

“Whatever.” Priestly mutters. “Maybe if you got your head out of those books and paid more attention to guys, you wouldn’t have to try…

J.C. McClean

Image

“Lorelai pulls me in closer and I feel her hair brush the side of my face. Huh, she smells like bubblegum and oranges. Wait. What the hell? Oh great! I’m actually sniffing her hair now. Yeah, that’s not super creepy at all! Time to dial back the crazy. It would be wrong to make a move, remember? The song ends…

J.C. McClean