"I have a mind to join a club……" — Groucho Marx
"I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it."
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Groucho Marx
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287 Quotes by Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx has 287 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Home is where you hang your head.
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like…
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy…
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and…
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I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the…
See all 287 quotes by Groucho Marx »
More Beat Quotes
This quote is filed under Beat Quotes,
one of 2,656 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.
— Edward Abbey
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I was always a good student. I wasn't the A-plus student, but I studied really hard, and I probably had…
— Tyra Banks
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Every time I wake up, I see myself like somebody beat me up.
— Javier Bardem
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If somebody hits you with an object you should beat the hell out of them.
— Charles Barkley
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Unlike curing cancer or heart disease, we already know how to beat hunger: food.
— Mario Batali
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The drums of Africa still beat in my heart. They will not let me rest while there is a single…
— Mary McLeod Bethune
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One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
— Josh Billings
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As an actress we don't beat one another. It's whoever's right for the part.
— Juliette Binoche
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I wasn't real quick, and I wasn't real strong. Some guys will just take off and it's like, whoa. So…
— Larry Bird
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I never do any album to beat it. I do it to extend it.
— Mary J. Blige
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Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are…
— William J. H. Boetcker
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If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none.
— Mel Brooks
See all 2,656 Beat Quotes »