"When I got out of high school they……" — George Carlin
"When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons."
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George Carlin
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546 Quotes by George Carlin
George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is…
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Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why…
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The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set…
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it…
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then…
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The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
See all 546 quotes by George Carlin »
More High Quotes
This quote is filed under High Quotes,
one of 9,060 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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A high heart ought to bear calamities and not flee them, since in bearing them appears the grandeur of the…
— Pietro Aretino
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High thoughts must have high language.
— Aristophanes
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Men of sense often learn from their enemies. It is from their foes, not their friends, that cities learn the…
— Aristophanes
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Getting over someone is a grieving process. You mourn the loss of the relationship, and that's only expedited by 'Out…
— Hank Azaria
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That's a problem. I mean, like any sort of growing startup organization, we are sort of overwhelmed by our growth.…
— Julian Assange
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The people you see in Nigeria today have always lived as neighbors in the same space for as long as…
— Chinua Achebe
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I consider fiction a very high-class form of lying. I enjoy and admire it enormously, but I don't think I'm…
— Diane Ackerman
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Love is the best school, but the tuition is high and the homework can be painful.
— Diane Ackerman
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Just advertising departments with legs and high heels.
— Richard Avedon
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If you look at the themes that he struck from the minute he started running for president through today, there…
— David Axelrod
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I live in a high rise with my family part of the year in New York and I don't know…
— Dan Aykroyd
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My father is an actor, so he brought me into his agency when I was young. It wasn't something I…
— Jensen Ackles
See all 9,060 High Quotes »